


In The Public Eye

by among_the_wildflowers



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Soul Punk Era Patrick Stump, Streamer AU, because im not over the blonde, fake dating au, patrick's a thot and that's okay, thot rights 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:20:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 40,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/among_the_wildflowers/pseuds/among_the_wildflowers
Summary: Streaming is a demanding career that requires daily updates, quick thinking, and an entertaining personality. Media coverage is necessary to stay relevant in the oversaturated and ever-changing market. Popular video game streamers, Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump, know that if they want to keep their fame, audience, and livelihoods they need to stay on top of the charts and Patrick has an idea as to how to do that, even if it isn't 100% honest...
Relationships: Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz
Comments: 175
Kudos: 95





	1. Chapter 1

“What’s up everyone,” Pete said into the webcam. He had an energy drink next to his streaming system “I’m going to boot up Dead By Daylight in a few minutes. How’s everyone doing?” This had been his daily routine for almost four years now. He’d been streaming full time for just over a year. Sure, it was a very high maintenance and competitive job but he’d take that over his previous job working in a guitar store any day. He watched the chat for a few seconds, saying hi to the familiar usernames he saw and the mods that made sure the stream stayed positive. His audience had gotten big enough that he couldn’t manage everything entirely on his own. He stretched then tested his computer stats to make sure everything was running properly before starting the game. “Alright, chat, who am I playing as?” He scanned over the comments before choosing the character that seemed to pop up the most. Once the lobby filled, the game started. It was a good two hours of playing and giving commentary before he took a break. “Let me take a minute to read these…” anyone who donated or became a subscriber, meaning they made a monthly donation, got the opportunity to write him a message which he would read and reply to on stream. Maintaining a connection with his audience was vital to being successful here.

“Hi, Pete, happy I could finally catch a stream, thanks for always making me smile” he read “thanks, jimman175, glad you could make it.” He read the next most recent one “do you have a sub-goal picked? I’d love to see you do something more laid back like a text adventure.” He always picked a popular game as a reward for hitting a new subscriber milestone, usually one that he wouldn’t play normally. He’d played Resident Evil 7 on his last sub-goal a few months back but now that he thought of it, his next one would be coming up relatively soon “I haven’t picked one yet so leave some suggestions in the chat and I’ll put the popular ones as a Twitter poll after the stream.” He scrolled down to see the next message “have you ever met stumpstreak?” Stumpstreak was another streamer but he didn’t know much about him besides his username, he was relatively popular and Pete commonly saw his streams on the trending page. “No, I’ve always meant to check out his streams but we usually stream around the same time.” He watched the chat fill with messages of people saying how they loved his streams and a few inside jokes that he didn’t understand. He clicked over to the trending page and saw that as luck would have it, Stump was in fact streaming now. “Well I’m going to switch to playing Zelda for an hour or so and then if he’s still online maybe we’ll raid his stream.” he stalled the stream to a menu page so that he could move the monitor and his recording equipment over to his Switch “you guys are going to need to help me out because I have no idea what I’m doing.” The game save loaded into a dungeon that he didn’t remember at all “alright, yeah, I’m lost, what was I doing?” He looked through his map and scrunched his eyebrows “I think I just need to get out, now how…” he did his best to navigate back outside “well, I’m just going to wander around until I remember where I am. Bare with me for a minute.” He scanned the chat again “I’d love to see you play a dating sim. That would be hilarious” he read. “I’ve always found dating sims pretty boring since there’s not much gameplay, maybe if people sent some suggestions I’d make one a stretch goal.” He scanned the chat until he found himself at the entrance to that dungeon’s boss fight “yeah, I don’t really see myself playing a dating sim any time soon, let’s focus on getting done with Link’s Awakening for now and then once I finish this I’ll move on to something new.”

Stump was still streaming once Pete finished for the night. At the end of his streams, he always sent his viewers over to a new channel. It was pretty standard practice as then other streamers would be more likely to do the same later on and increase his own viewership. He usually picked someone he knew but it was late and not too many of his friends were online, and getting to know some more streamers would be nice. Once he turned his streaming equipment off, he decided to watch a few minutes of Stump’s stream himself to make sure he was supporting a decent channel.

“Looks like we just got raided by pweezy. Thanks, Pete. And welcome everyone.” said the other streamer. He had headphones on over platinum hair and glasses that showed off blue eyes, he also had a very nice smile. Pete felt a little proud that Stump knew his name from his username and then a little sad that he didn’t know what Stump’s real name was. “Well for everyone new, I’m Patrick and I’m doing a pretty chill grind session in Pokemon Shield tonight so I hope you stick around.” Patrick’s stream shows him in the middle of a battle “if I could get Anxiety a new move before this gym that would be ideal but I’m not sure when Inteleon learns Liquidation… Level 38? That’s not as far as I thought.”

Pete smiled, Patrick seemed sweet.

“What time is it here?” Patrick read from the chat “it is 12:29 here in Chicago. I’ll probably be wrapping up in not too long.”

Pete hummed contemplatively, he also lived in Chicago, interesting coincidence.

“Hi, Patrick, I just got broken up with but your streams have been cheering me up. Thanks for making me smile.” Patrick read “aw, I’m sorry, ninjazombiee, breaking up always sucks but I hope you’re doing okay. I just got out of a relationship too and…” he ran his fingers through his hair “yeah, it’s rough. I hope you keep finding things to make you happy, though! It will feel better soon!”

That level of openness on stream was pretty impressive. Pete was no stranger to oversharing online occasionally but he tried to avoid it when he could. The danger with streaming was that there was no editing. He couldn’t decided something was too personal or just boring or stupid and cut it out, he had to constantly on the ball when it came to being entertaining.

“Thanks for being so sweet, guys, but I’m doing okay. That’s why I took some time off last week so I appreciate everyone being so understanding of that. I’m doing fairly well, though.” Patrick switched to a new Pokemon, an Obstagoon named Stopsuggesti “alright, I’m going to level up Stopsuggestingkinkynamesyousickfurryfucks, whose nickname was sadly censored by the character limit.”

Pete smiled but then yawned. He decided to call it a night after that, it was already late and he was doing another long stream tomorrow.

  
  


Pete turned off his alarm and groaned. As usual, his first morning activity was checking his phone. He had his twitter notifications set to only show up from someone notified or that he was following which he didn’t like doing but it was way too overwhelming otherwise so when he saw a new DM he assumed it was something reasonably important or from a friend.

The message was from stumpstreak, whose real name was apparently Patrick Stump.

_ PatrickStump: Thanks a lot for raiding my stream last night :) _

Pete smiled and rolled over in bed. “ _No problem_ ,” he typed “ _my chat all seemed to love you during my stream. How long have you been in Chicago?_ ”

He didn’t expect a reply soon so he got up to make coffee. He was surprised when he sat down with his bowl of cereal that a new message had already popped up.

_ PatrickStump: All my life, except for a study abroad in college. _

“ _Me too,_ ” Pete typed as he ate “ _small world. I caught a few minutes of your stream before passing out last night, you seem pretty cool._ ”

He sipped his coffee and checked his channel statistics until the next message came in.

_ PatrickStump: I can assure you that is incorrect, I’m about the biggest nerd out there, but thank you! _

Pete smiled “ _we play video games for a living, I think we’re both nerds. You seem cute, though, and very sincere,_ ” he almost didn’t send that but he hadn’t been awake long enough for his judgment to kick in.

_ PatrickStump: Stoooop you’re making me blush _

Pete did a quick google search to make sure Patrick was legal. It was maybe overly cautious, he definitely looked old enough but being in the public eye… he couldn’t be too careful.

Patrick Stump, internet personality, 21

Usually, his impulsive nature would have him asking Patrick to grab a drink with him but knowing he just got out of a relationship… even he wasn’t that insensitive.

“ _How long have you been streaming for?_ ” he asked instead.

_ PatrickStump: Just over a year. My channel took off really quickly a few months ago. It’s been really crazy. _

_ Are you doing it full time? _

_ PatrickStump: For work, yes, but I’m also studying music. _

_ Interesting. Do you ever do that in your streams? I’m sure you’d be good. _

Pete took his dishes out but kept an eye on his phone while he did. It had been a while since he was this excited to talk to someone he’d just met but Patrick really was adorable, on top of probably smart and dedicated as hell if he was doing school on top of daily streams.

_ PatrickStump: No definitely not. A friend of mine got me into streaming and I got a bunch of donations so I kept going, I’m really anxious when it comes to being on camera, though. _

Pete wasn’t surprised as to why Patrick got popular so quickly. As much as he didn’t like it, he also knew that being attractive helped with gaining an audience. “ _I can understand that, I’d never know from watching you, though. You seem like a natural."_

Pete hoped he hadn’t laid it on too thick there because he didn’t get a reply after a few minutes. The message still said delivered under it but Patrick could have easily seen the notification and chosen to ignore it. He distracted himself by getting another cup of coffee and doing some off stream leveling for Destiny. On top of daily streams, he also had a merch store, social media, and off camera work to do. Some games needed to be played offline as well as on stream to make sure that the streams never got too boring. He saw his phone light up and he quickly paused the game to check it. As he hoped, it was from Patrick.

_ PatrickStump: That means a lot coming from you. I’m sorry if I don’t reply very often, I’m terrible at texting. _

That really sounded like a hint that he wanted to meet in person but Pete didn’t know if that was just him being overly hopeful or projecting his own wishes onto Patrick’s words “ _it’s fine, I’m just doing some grinding for a few hours before I do a Destiny 2 stream. Know what you’re playing tonight?_ ”

PatrickStump: _Probably more Pokemon or Stardew Valley lol. I usually do pretty lowkey games that I can’t mess up too badly. It lets me interact more with the audience which is where my focus usually is, given the type of streams I do..._

_ That’s probably smart. You should have seen my freakout during Dark Souls III. _

_ PatrickStump: I definitely wouldn’t play something like that. I’d like to branch out more at some point, I just wish it wasn’t SO public. _

Before Pete could reply, Patrick sent another text 

_ PatrickStump: that was probably weirdly personal sorry! Idk how much you caught last night but I’ve been having a weird week.  _

Pete pursed his lips “ _I heard that you just had a relationship end. I’m sorry_.”

_ PatrickStump: It’s okay. We had different schedules and he didn't really understand what I did for a living. _

“ _I’ve never been able to make dating someone outside of the industry work - or in it actually._ ” Pete almost didn’t notice at first that Patrick had said he was dating a man, almost. He reread it to make sure that he’d seen that correctly and then grinned behind his hand even though he was alone. This felt too good to be true even though he really hadn’t accomplished anything.

_ PatrickStump: I hope I’m not distracting you. _

Pete smiled, Patrick was definitely very sweet “ _not at all. I like talking to you. Truth be told, my social life is pretty depressing right now. I was actually wondering if you might want to do a stream together sometime. I’ve been looking for someone to play Wolfeinstien with if that’s not too out of your comfort zone._ ”

_ PatrickStump: I’m always down to kill some Nazis. Let’s do it. I don’t have the game and I have my schedule for the next few days posted already but maybe some time next week? _

Pete closed his eyes and leaned his head back, grinning. His luck almost never worked out this well. “ _Sunday night is usually pretty popular for me if you want_.”

_ PatrickStump: Perfect. I can’t wait. I’ll send you my number, I’ll be more likely to check my texts than my Twitter, this is probably the most I’ve used it all week. _

Pete saved the number to his contacts. He was irrationally giddy at the thought of spending more time with Patrick but he couldn’t help himself.


	2. Chapter 2

“Did you know that stumpstreaks is going to raid you tonight?” he read off the chat “well, I didn’t, but I do now.” he laughed “way to ruin the surprise.”

_ He just said it in his stream, he also said that he admires you. _

_ My two favs aw _

_ How much do I have to donate for them to stream them just hanging out? _

_ Pete please _

_ I can’t believe they’re not friends since they both live in Chicago! _

The chat was really blowing up with messages about him and Patrick. Could there be some truth to what they were saying? Was the chemistry between him and Patrick something that the audience anticipated without them ever even seeing them interact.

_ He said last night they’d never met :( _

_ They’d probably be so cute together though. _

_ I hope Patrick’s chat is blowing up too so they decide to be friends. _

“Alright, let’s start this. I’m sure Patrick’s a nice guy we’ve just never run into each other.” He didn’t want to cause a fuss about them until Patrick was 100% in on it, he didn’t want Patrick to suddenly be flooded with questions out of nowhere.

While the game loaded, he read a few more messages. “Thanks for all the laughs, I’m about to finish high school and might start streaming in college. Any tips?” Pete kept an eye on the lobby screen “definitely give it a shot. Best thing to do is just start and keep working at it. As long as you're having fun with it, people will enjoy it as well. Thanks for the sub!” The game loaded in before Pete could read the next messages so he’d have to take a longer break to catch back up. He played for a little over two hours before reading messages and starting a new game.

“Can only tip a few dollars tonight but I wanted to ask what your favourite thing about streaming is?” Pete read off of his messages “that’s tough,” he said, cracking his knuckles now that he was taking a break “I love a lot of it, it’s a lot of fun doing what I love for a living and meeting so many cool people. I’m honestly just really lucky that I get to do this full time.”

“How do you manage working from home and staying active?” Pete laughed as he read “uh… I’ll let you know when I figure it out. I mean, I’m not the best at it since it’s so easy to just not do anything for a while but I try and find things to get me out of the house. I usually walk to the grocery store and my PO box so at least I usually get that much in. I also try and go to the gym pretty regularly but I’m also a lazy fuck so…”

“I love your streams,” he read off the next message “are you doing any meet and greets or cons soon?” Pete hummed “I don’t have too much planned right now but there’s some stuff I can’t talk about yet coming up, don’t worry.”

“What’s the next full playthrough you’re doing?” He read next “hopefully I’m going to be starting Wolfenstein: Youngblood soon but who knows if I’ll finish it.” He glanced at the chat.

_ Are you playing with the AI or co-op? _

_ I can’t wait to see that. _

He decided not to answer the co-op question so as to give Patrick an out if he needed it. He hoped he didn’t.

  
  


Pete was a little disappointed that after texting Patrick so he had his number the day they’d started talking, the first text he got from Patrick was about work.

_ Patrick: Hey, Pete. I’m still down for streaming tonight if you are. I’ve got it downloaded and ready to go whenever you want to start. _

Pete didn’t mind too much, he was excited to spend time with Patrick but when it was for work it somehow didn’t seem like they were really together. He tried not to let on the tiny hint of disappointment in his text.

_ sure, I haven’t said anything about it on stream, have you? _

_ Patrick: Nope! Should we make it a surprise? _

_ Sounds fun. I’ll see you then! _

_ Patrick: You too. Have a good day. _

Pete checked his watch, counting how long until he went live.

  
  


Pete sent another text once he was situated and done with his regular equipment tests. “ _Ready_ ,” it read simply.

Patrick texted back after a second.

_ Patrick: me too. See you once I finish my intro. Going live now. _

Pete smiled before starting the stream. He always waited a few minutes with the stream on a pre-set background to let viewers join. After a minute, he switched to his Steam library with his webcam feed overlayed in the corner. “Hey, everyone,” he said casually, smiling at the camera positioned next to his monitor. “I’m going to start things pretty quickly today, I’ve got a bit of a surprise tonight.” He watched the chat fill with comments.

_ Wolfenstein YES _

_ Can’t wait to see you rage with the AI when it glitches _

_ HI! _

_ Are you playing the whole campaign? _

_ First stream I’ve caught in forever, so excited. _

_ Wattsup everyone? _

Pete hummed and glanced at his phone for any updates from Patrick, when he didn’t see anything, he started the game. He selected the co-op play option and smiled at the chat as it filled with people guessing who he’d be playing with. A few people noticed that Patrick was also playing the same game. “Yes, I did get ahold of Stumpstreaks since everyone seemed to love him so much so we’ll be doing this game together, at least for tonight.”

The comments streamed in even faster after that.

_ Yes! _

_ OMG _

_ 🙌🙌🙌 _

_ I knew they would get along! _

_ Patrick is so cute I cant picture him playing an fps _

_ It sucks that he got so popular just because of his looks and not being any good _

Pete decided to not encourage comments like that with a reply so instead, he just blocked the user from the chat. He sent a game invite to Patrick and waited a few seconds for him to accept. He turned on his headset and grinned “hey, ‘Trick,”

_ TRICK _

_ Wtf that’s adorable _

_ Awwwww _

“Hey,” Patrick said threw the headset “I’m ready whenever you are.”

Pete had Patrick’s audio linked to his stream as well so the viewers could hear both sides of the conversation “sweet,” he said as his game loaded in “I’m in,” he said, reading over the opening character creation page. Patrick made an affirming sound so Pete continued “I’m going to playing as Jess but they should be about the same stats, we already made our characters off stream so let’s just hop in,”

Patrick was quiet for a second while the cutscene played “the art style is really nice,”

Pete hummed in agreement as they watched the opening cutscene introduced the twin sister protagonist “that’s cute,” Pete said as the characters hugged.

“They’re sisters, Pete," Patrick giggled. Now that was cute.

“Not like that, asshole,” Pete laughed. He turned his attention back to the scene again as one of the characters said “Listen ma'am, we were born to kill nazis.” Pete chuckled, “I love that, that could be us, Patrick,”

“For legal reasons, that’s a joke,” Patrick bantered in return. Pete was always nervous when it came to doing streams with other people because any missing chemistry was immediately noticeable by the audience, things seemed to be going well so far, though. “Oh, we’re playing,” Patrick said as the cutscene abruptly ended “what are the controls?”

Pete laughed as he tested buttons “just come on, it’ll tell us later,”

Patrick followed him and suddenly Pete could hear him mashing buttons as an enemy approached until one finally worked as an attack “I’ll be honest, I’m feeling overwhelmed. You scope stuff out and I’ll find loot,”

Pete did as he was told for a second until he came to a dead-end “wait, no, I need your help to open the door,”

“I don’t know where I am, where are you?”

Pete laughed “I don’t know either, at a door.”

“I got distracted reading backstory, I’ll come find you,”

After a second, Patrick’s character joined him on screen and suddenly gunfire started “oh, we’re really just going, huh?” Pete said as they moved through the hallways, taking out enemies as they went.

“Pete, wait, I’m getting collectibles,”

“I’m trying to eliminate Nazi forces and you’re finding collectibles?” He joked until Patrick rejoined him.

“Yep, I found a silver coin,”

“I’m sure that will be useful. Oh look, a little home theatre, that’s cute.” Pete said as they entered a new room.

“Should we sit down and watch something? Have a little date?” Patrick asked as the room was quickly swarmed by enemies.

“Sounds nice, there’s a bar and everything, very romantic,” Patrick said as their characters stepped over the nazis they had taken out “all my ideal dates involve killing fascists, actually, how did you know?”

“I found a coin now too,” Pete chuckled as he searched the room for loot before moving on “now we’re equal,”

Patrick laughed “no we’re not, while you were opening doors and all, I found 6 whole coins  _ and _ backstory so - oh this room’s dark, where did you go?”

“I don’t know, I fell down a hole, I hear someone yelling in German, though,”

“I don’t like horror games and this is starting to feel very horror gamey, Pete. Hold on, I see your flashlight,”

“I’m going down the hallway, there’s light up here, oh, it’s a disco room! There’s a jukebox and a dance floor and everything!” Pete said, looking around the new room.

“Pete, stop leaving me behind,” Patrick whined playfully “I got shot, come back and heal me,”

“How did you get shot?” Pete smiled as he went back to help Patrick “I thought I killed all the enemies,”

“Well maybe if you stopped getting ahead of me and shooting everyone, I could level up and get some better stats. I like the disco room, I think we should just hang out here,”

“Reclaim this place as our new bachelor pad?”

Patrick giggled again “uh huh. Fuck, I got shot again,” Patrick said as they entered a new swarm room “help,”

Pete laughed as he healed Patrick again between taking out enemies “there’s more armor behind the staircase if you need it.”

“How have you not died yet?” Patrick said as he found Pete’s character again after taking the stat bonus.

“Because I’m just running away now instead of shooting anyone,”

“I’d like to point out that humans would not survive being shot this many times so I feel like this is rigged from the start,”

“I mean, we’re currently calmly standing on the wing of a blimp in the pouring rain like it’s nothing so I don’t know if realism is really the goal here,” Pete set his controller down as the next cutscene started “oh, it’s exploding now,”

“Did we just jump off a blimp and then just walk it off?” Patrick giggled “that’s pretty badass of us,”

“We make a pretty good superhuman pair,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me a comment or kudos to let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

_ I had a lot of fun tonight. I hope we can do it again some time. _

Pete texted Patrick before he had time to talk himself out of it as he lay in bed. They’d finished the stream after a few hours but weren’t even close to finishing the story, Pete was glad they’d picked a longer game so they’d have an excuse to keep working together.

_ Patrick: me too. I don’t have any plans announced so whenever you’re free, let me know. Thanks for not minding that I suck at shooters. _

Pete chuckled. He wished he could see Patrick. They had great chemistry all night and Pete couldn’t help but wonder how long this would go on for. Would they go back to being relative strangers once they finished this game?

_ You did well, don’t worry about it. I’m free all week if you want to just keep going. _

_ Patrick: sounds good. I’m really tired and still need to shower tonight so I’ll talk to you in the morning! _

In the morning. Before they streamed. Pete liked the sound of that.

  
  


_ Patrick: Sorry I blew you off last night, I was really tired. I’m really excited to see you again. _

Pete smiled as he read the text, which he’d received at around 7am and which Pete had slept through. No wonder Patrick went to bed so early if he woke up at 7.

_ Sorry I missed this  _ Pete texted once he had gotten his coffee at almost 11am  _ I not a morning person _

As Pete looked through his twitter and sipped his coffee, the next text came in.

_ Patrick: I wouldn’t say I am either really but the bakery near my house puts fresh bread out at 8 and there’s no way I’m missing that _

Pete smiled. He couldn’t help but imagine Patrick with a sleepy smile on his face, curled up in bed and then shuffling outside in sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt and coming back to make breakfast. He’d still be tired so he’d bring breakfast back into bed to cuddle there again. Curse his overactive, hopelessly romantic imagination. Pete always created idealized versions of people before he even knew them and got attached to the versions he created, only to be disappointed when they didn’t live up to those expectations.

_ I wish I had the self-control for that. If I set an alarm that early I either sleep through it or just go back to bed. _

_ Patrick: that’s probably better for streaming, I can never do late-night streams because I start to pass out around midnight. _

_ I don’t usually stream much later than that usually, I just lay awake for a while _

There was a break where Patrick didn’t reply even though he had read the message. Had Pete gone too far there? At the end of the day, they were still just coworkers, both trying to increase their viewership by faking a friendship, was that really all it was? Pete distracted himself by making toast until the next notification lit up his screen.

_ Patrick: I hope this isn’t too forward but if you wanted, we could maybe meet up for coffee sometime? I’d love to chat with you in person, I’m not really the best texter, as I’ve mentioned. _

Pete sighed in relief at the knowledge that he hadn’t gotten too unprofessional and scared Patrick off.

_ I’d love that. When works for you? _

_ Patrick: any time, I don’t have the most exciting social life if I’m honest _

_ Me neither. Is tomorrow too soon? _

_ Patrick: not at all, I’m excited. I don’t even know where in Chicago you are, where’s a good place for you to meet? _

Pete sent the locations to a few coffee shops nearby and asked if any of them were convenient for Patrick. They decided on a Starbucks about a fifteen-minute walk from Pete’s apartment as well as a time to meet and when they would start streaming tonight. Pete set his phone down and smiled, he was rarely excited to meet someone, usually, he dreaded it in fact but things seemed to come so naturally with Patrick, he only felt excited to finally get to see him in person.

  
  


“Is there anything you’re looking forward to this week?” Pete smiled as he read his donation notes “I’m excited to play more Wolfenstein tonight,” he replied, deciding not to mention his coffee date (which wasn’t a real date and he knew that, date in a friend sort of way, of course) out of respect for both his and Patrick’s privacy. “We’ll start in just a second once Patrick gets in.”

_ Missed last night’s stream, so excited to jump in now _

_ Are you playing the whole game with Patrick? _

_ How long have you two been friends? _

_ How far into the game are they? _

_ Do you think you’ll play the whole game? _

“Patrick and I are at least going to stream this section together but it will just depend on when we get tired of the campaign,” Patrick’s character popped up in the lobby and his audio stream started playing through Pete’s headset “alright, should we start?”

“Fine by me,” Patrick said from the other side of the line.

“Okay, where are you?” Pete asked as the game loaded in.

“On a balcony, I see you. What are we doing?”

“I don’t know, I’m just wandering around until I find people to kill,”

Patrick chuckled “take that out of context, I found a letter!”

“Is it important?” Pete asked as he found the main route again and started clearing out enemies.

“I don’t know, I didn’t read it. I don’t exactly have time with you leaving me behind,” Patrick teased as he joined Pete again. Pete didn’t reply for a second so that he could focus on the subtitles which translated the French character’s audio. “Je comprends,” Patrick giggled into Pete’s ear and Pete nearly rolled his eyes.

“Stop showing off, I didn’t know you spoke French.”

“Je parle un peu Français. Und Deutsch.”

“Shut up,” Pete laughed “where’d you learn that?”

“I have to do something with my free time between streams. I’m saving up to go to Europe someday, I’ve barely ever even left Chicago. What about you, do you travel much?”

It was nice having such a casual conversation as they continued playing “I have family in Jamaica so I see them quite a lot but besides that, not really. I’m a bit of a homebody if I’m being honest, I only get out of the city when my mom says we have to visit someone for the holidays.”

“Ah, my family is all in Chicago so I don’t even have that excuse.”

“Where in Europe would you go?”

“Hold on,” Patrick chuckled “I’m getting killed, stop being so distracting…. Uh, I mean, I’d probably combine it with work somehow so wherever there was a con happening at the time. I hate that right now I’m only able to meet fans in Chicago but I’m trying to save more before branching out. I think my next step right now would be doing a con in LA or Florida or somewhere else where I could meet a lot of fans who otherwise wouldn’t be able to meet me, since so many of you have been asking for that.”

Pete could hear the sadness in Patrick’s voice and that hurt. He knew that feeling. It was hard being able to constantly satisfy so many people, especially for Pete who was an introvert at heart despite how often he had to talk to people for work. Everyone wanted to get his attention at all times and Pete only had so much energy and time in the day for them. He wanted to make everyone happy but he also had to prioritize himself, his emotional wellbeing, and his financial situation and even though that was just a rational decision, it still left him feeling selfish.

“Wait for me. I got distracted by shooting a picture of Hitler,” Patrick giggled before rejoining Pete.

Pete smiled “that’s a good priority.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Patrick is not living up to the thot-trick that I promised but trust me, just wait.  
> Leave me a comment please! They keep me motivated and make me smile!  
> Tumblr: lupinwritings


	4. Chapter 4

Pete checked his watch as he sat down at a table by the window with his coffee. Patrick wasn’t there yet as he was still five minutes early, too paranoid about being late to risk showing up on time. He checked his phone as well to make sure that Patrick hadn’t canceled but the only notifications were from news apps and emails that he didn’t care about. He entertained himself by looking through his Twitch statistics until Patrick slid into the booth across from him “sorry I kept you waiting,”

Pete looked up and smiled. Patrick pulled off his scarf and hood so Pete could see his face which was flushed red from the cold. He held his coffee with both hands under his face and, god, that was way cuter than it should have been. What was wrong with him? Patrick’s blonde hair fell into his face more than it did when he was wearing headphones and he had to push it back to keep it from falling into his eyes and then push his glasses back up after he sat down. Pete hoped that he wasn’t just staring as much as he felt like he was. “You didn’t, I just sat down, don’t worry.”

Patrick was quiet for a second and then he put his head in his hands and laughed “I’m sorry, I’m so awkward when it comes to meeting people in person. It’s good to see you, though, like, really see you.”

Pete smiled, how could he not? “It’s fine, me too. You too. I was really glad when you suggested this. It’s almost difficult being friends with people who aren’t in this world, you know?”

Patrick put his hands back on the table “I- yeah, definitely. I never had, like, a ton of friends in high school or anything but it’s really hard to stay in touch with the ones I have because they usually want to go out for drinks and stuff but like…”

Pete nodded “yeah… when I’m free they never are and vise versa. And it’s the kind of job that seems easy but it’s so…”

“Demanding?”

“Exactly.” Pete smiled at Patrick who looked away quickly after their eyes met. “How are you doing?” Pete continued after a moment “I mean, I hope this isn’t too personal but I just know that breakups are hard and all.”

Patrick pursued his lips “I’m doing alright. He was someone from one of my classes, it wasn’t too serious but I do this thing where I get attached to people really fast and - this is going to sound crazy but… kind of start imagining life with them way more than I should so early on and then when it doesn’t work out it’s not just losing them it’s losing everything that I thought we could be.” Patrick sipped his coffee “fuck, sorry for ranting like that, I didn’t mean to dump that on you. I guess I don’t have a ton of people to talk to. Wow, that sounded pathetic, sorry.” He laughed nervously and Pete put his hands under the table to stop himself from holding Patrick’s.

“It didn't, don't worry," Pete said in a way that was hopefully comforting. Having to be 'on' all the time for streams got exhausting when it felt fake "I understand, I do the same thing.”

“Well at least you don’t think I’m crazy, that’s a good start.”

“Start to what?” Pete asked hopefully.

Patrick eyed him “I’m not sure yet… but I’m excited to find out.”

“So is it hard balancing college and streaming?”

Pete leaned back in his chair “I mean… yeah, I enjoy streaming but it’s not something I think I’ll do forever, partially because I don’t know if this lack of sleep is sustainable but also… I’m not blind to why so many people watch my streams and that’s not something I’ll have in another forty years, you know?”

Pete bit his tongue, Patrick had some points but he also didn’t know enough about Patrick’s fanbase to know for sure what he meant. “It is difficult relating to a much younger fanbase, I know,”

Patrick ran one hand up his arm absentmindedly “I mean, there’s that, but I’m also,” he put on an overly perky smile and high voice that was clearly all for show “the gay boy who likes nintendo games and flirts with guys in chat - because that’s what sells, and I wouldn’t say it’s fake because me thirsting over cute guys in games is very much accurate but it’s also… not something I’ll be doing when I’m fifty and not something people would want to see if I did, the reason I’m popular is because people want to fuck me and that’s fine because it pays the bills but it’s just not a sustainable level of hype. But if it gets me through college, I’m fine with it.”

Pete nodded, he hadn’t seen enough of Patrick’s streams to catch onto it but there did seem to be some personality differences between Patrick in his streams versus him in person. Everyone had a bit of a persona for the camera but Patrick’s seemed a bit more exaggerated that most, it was him and it wasn’t fake but it was also clearly taxing. “That does sound difficult, I didn’t really see that side of you from the streams we’ve done together, though,”

Patrick chuckled “I tone it down around you, I don’t want to start any rumors about your sexuality because if I was as bad as I usually am, you’d never hear the end of it.”

“You don’t have to do that, I’m gay anyway,” Pete clenched one fist under the table anxiously. No matter how accepting the environment, saying it out loud was always a little anxiety-inducing.

“Really? Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume, I just…”

Pete chuckled “it’s fine, I’m not quite as… open about it as you are. My chat has already decided that we’re dating, which has been fantastic for my viewership as now everyone is watching to hear if I admit it.”

Patrick was quiet for a second “can I propose a really stupid idea?” Pete nodded and let him continue “you know your viewers better than I do and I’d only go through with it if I thought it would benefit both of us I know my donations go way up when I talk about having a boyfriend because I’m everyone’s favourite uwu soft boy or whatever the fuck they’re calling me now,” he stopped himself and smiled “sorry. But it might be beneficial for both of us if we drop some hints that you and I are a thing.”

Pete looked at his coffee and thought it over for a second. His viewership had gone way up since he started streaming with Patrick, as had his social media numbers, sub counts, and donations even after only a few days. While some viewers probably were happy to just see him playing new types of games with new dynamics, he couldn’t help but be aware of the fact that it was also partially due to his chemistry with Patrick and the rumors that every stream would be the one where he admits that he’s dating Patrick or lets it slip by accident. While his chat moderators usually muted anyone who was crossing a line or being disrespectful, Pete couldn’t help but notice a good number of comments about him and Patrick’s supposed relationship still made it through. Social media was just as bad, while most people were respectful, he still had noticed a few dms asking for clarification on his and Patrick's relationship or fan conspiracies about them. He hadn't checked the posts which mentioned his name but didn't tag him directly, though he was fairly certain he could guess the kind of content he'd find there. The idea that they had a secret relationship had only increased the online conversation about them which made him even more popular as more and more people heard of him and turned into his streams as a result. Name recognition was a powerful tool.

“Fuck it,” Pete grinned and shook his head, what did he have to lose? “Let’s do it.”

  
  


Tuesdays were Pete’s days off as they were usually pretty slow stream days anyway. He had talked over specifics with Patrick the day before and decided that for the first few weeks they’d test out reactions by flirting on stream and maybe posting a few pictures together from their apartments just to see how people took it. Assuming that numbers kept rising, they’d “accidentally” get caught or reveal their relationship because that would definitely go viral in the streaming world and all press was good press (right?), then they’d make an announcement confirming their relationship, continue flirting and interacting on camera to keep things going for a while and then eventually announce a mutual breakup due to wanting to focus on their careers so that blame wouldn’t be passed to either of them. Pete didn’t like lying to his fans but really, was there any harm? Plus having some more queer representation was always a good thing. No one was getting hurt, it wasn’t like he was a straight man pretending to be gay for views or anything like that, he was just overexaggerating, every streamer did that anyway.

He put Patrick’s stream on in the background while he waited for his frozen pizza to cook, if he was going to date the guy he should at least get to know him. Pete didn’t actually like Patrick as anything more than a friend which was lucky since that could complicate things. He had an over-excited imagination when it came to people but he did that with everyone whom he found vaguely attractive. If he read into every time he'd seen someone and wondered what a life with them would be like, he'd think he was in love with half the people he'd ever met. Sure, he was Pete’s type but so was every other twenty-something-year-old with a cute smile and glasses who was under 5’6 so that really wasn’t unusual.

“Yes, yes, I know, I’m sorry that Pete and I aren’t streaming tonight but it’s his day off so Jess and Soph will just have to wait." Patrick said on-screen "a week ago you were all begging me to play Stardew Valley again, Patrick Jr. still has to finish his farm and find himself a boyfriend.” Patrick huffed and leaned his head against his hand, pouting at the camera “I just can’t make you happy, can I?”

Yeah, Pete could see why that was appealing…

“As usual, I have completely neglected interacting with people altogether,” Patrick giggled as he looked through his relationship stats with the npcs of the game “so now that my farm is going, let’s go make friends… yes, friends, what else would I be doing with every character in this game? I plan to be friends with everyone and have a husband and live happily ever after on our farm… oh, hello, who are you?”

Pete looked back at his phone, scrolling through Instagram idly.

“Ooh, you are cute, are you husband material?” Patrick said in the background in that same overly excited, high-pitched voice he’d used in the coffeeshop “oh, I do love writers,” he giggled and then was quiet for a minute as he read over his chat “I actually don’t have any tattoos or piercings, though, because I’m such a wimp when it comes to pain. I do have a henna tattoo right now though because those don’t hurt… no, I don’t think I can show you without getting banned,” he giggled “it’s on my hip! Where did you think I was meaning! Fine,”

Pete’s eyes flicked back to the screen as Patrick stood up and pulled his sweatpants down just enough to show his hipbone, which had a henna rose running along it. Patrick giggled and sat back down “was that enough of a show for you?” he glanced at the chat “no? Well, you’ll just have to subscribe to my Patreon then.” Pete couldn’t tell if Patrick was kidding or not about that last part.

“I was not flirting with Pete,” Patrick hid a smile with one hand as he played, still reading the chat “I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that. I’m just a friendly person.”

Pete didn’t quite know what he’d gotten himself into. Patrick was… a lot, in a very good way, but definitely a lot. “I wish you would all stop accusing me of being a slut just for being friendly… oh, no, you’re very right about me being a slut but it’s not because of me being friendly that I earned that title it’s because I have no self-control when it comes to men,” he joked and Pete was a little relieved when the timer on the oven went off so Pete had a reason to leave the room.

“I’d snort coke off your dick,” Patrick read and that got Pete’s attention again because that’s not really the kind of statement one usually hears from one’s living room “I mean, please don’t,” Patrick laughed nervously “because drugs are bad and I also don’t know you and don’t want your face anywhere near my genitals, but thanks for the $25, I can pay for a date with a normal human being with that,”

“You should eat a popsicle on stream,” he read next “you really think I’m that nieve?” Pete glanced back at the television as he sat back down with his food “it’s too cold in Chicago for that, you’ll have to wait until summer until I do that again. That does remind me,” he leaned off-screen for a second before coming back onto camera with a lollipop in his mouth. 

“What?” Patrick shrugged as he went back to working on his virtual farm “I have a sweet tooth, and a viewer sent these to me off Amazon, which is the only way I accept food because I’m trying to not get poisoned. As sweet as it is when you guys send me food you make, I can’t accept anything that’s not in a sealed package for safety reasons, so if you want to send me anything make sure it’s unopened.”

Patrick’s fans might have been a lot of horny men but they were at least dedicated. And Patrick was shameless as he wiggled in his chair “you’d think I’d get used to sitting in one place for this long,” he stretched out over his chair with his legs propped up on his desk, letting his head fall back and his eyes close for a moment as he hummed softly “but no, I’m still as stiff as ever. I need a fucking massage."

Pete rolled his eyes and chuckled to himself. He just hoped that he hadn't gotten himself in over his head this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thot-trick! Thot-trick! Thot-trick!
> 
> Also, we're finally ramping up on the plot, how exciting. Leave me a comment to let me know what you think, they keep me motivated to keep writing. Also, if you don't yet, follow me on tumblr (lupinwritings) for updates or if you just want to see me reblogging every peterick fanart I can find.


	5. Chapter 5

Pete went back to looking at his phone instead of the stream then because honestly, Patrick was way too much to be watching casually right now. He knew Patrick wouldn’t be off-stream for a little while longer but he texted Patrick anyway.

_ Is this a pretty standard stream for you? _

“Sorry, Pete’s texting me,” Pete looked up at the sound of his name “we’re just friends,” Patrick whined as he took his phone out and then a second later, a new text came in.

_ Patrick: are you watching? _

Patrick put his phone back down and looked back at his chat “I mean, sure he's an attractive man and a very talented streamer but that doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with him. if I slept with every guy I know I- anyway! Where were we? Oh yeah, looking for shells to give our new man.”

_ I hope you don’t mind, figure I should get to know my new boyfriend _

Patrick glanced at his phone which usually would be unprofessional but the little giggle Patrick gave the camera seemed somehow to fit “stop, no, he’s not saying anything like that, and I wouldn’t tell you if he was.”

_ Patrick: so long as you don’t mind me being a whore. I didn’t mean for you to find out so early into our relationship lol _

Pete chuckled. It was strange knowing that he could see Patrick but Patrick couldn’t see him but as long as Patrick didn’t mind, he supposed it was okay.

_ It’s fine. I can see what you meant about not wanting to do this forever, though. So long as you’re comfortable with it, it’s none of my business what you do _

“You guys really think I’d be sexting Pete on camera? I’m far more professional than that, we save that for off-camera.” Patrick was really laying it on heavy but he knew what he was doing. Pete knew that not all of this was an act but the himbo part definitely was, he could tell Patrick was smart from their first conversation.

_ Patrick: what a gentleman. It’s probably a good thing that you’re watching so that you know the kind of reputation I have. Let me know if you want me to stop or you want to call things off. _

_ I don’t care what your reputation is. _

“I’m  _ kidding _ ,” Patrick practically purred into the mic “we’re just working out the details for when we’re streaming next, along with some other things.”

_ Patrick: stop being chivalrous for five minutes. Because someone dating me is going to get a bit of reputation as well. Just tell me if I cross a line. _

_ I will. You’re doing good so far _

“I should mirror my screen so you can see what I’m texting him if I’m going to do it on screen?” Patrick smiled coyly “oh, honey, that would get me banned immediately and then what would you get off to?”

_ Patrick: I’m always good for you _

_ Patrick: sorry, force of habit. _

Pete didn’t mind.

  
  


_ Patrick: how did I do? _

Patrick had ended his stream around 11 that night and Pete was in bed now, enjoying the ability to got to bed early tonight

_ Very impressive _

_ Patrick: my rule for all of my viewers if that you owe me $10 if you jerk off to me, you’re not excluded from that _

Pete rolled his eyes, he wasn’t that much of a pervert that he’d get off to his friend’s stream (right?). 

_ Do people really do that? _

_ Patrick: if I’m lucky _

_ So is that you act normally or is that an act? _

Instead of an answer, Patrick called him. Usually, Pete hated phone calls but he liked Patrick’s voice. “Hey,” he chuckled as he picked up.

“Hey, sorry I’m too tired to text. To answer your question… I mean, it’s not how I act in the streets because I’d get hate crimed or arrested real fast but like… it’s not entirely an act… tell me if you can’t hear me, I’ve got you on speaker while I’m in the shower.”

Pete tried not to picture that “I’m glad to hear you’re not uncomfortable with it. I know it’s totally none of my business but I want you to be comfortable.”

Patrick laughed “you’re sweet, but I’m fine. I was a whore anyway, I might as well get paid for it, and this requires less body strength than being a stripper so it works out.”

“I can never tell if you’re joking,”

“Good, I like to keep you guessing.”

“Should I start dropping hints tomorrow? I don’t think I’m as good at this as you are.”

“You want some pointers?”

Pete rolled onto his side and set the phone on his bedside table before turning his lights off “I won’t complain if you’ve got some ideas.”

“Hmm… well if it’s going to be believable, it needs to go both ways so you definitely need to flirt back, otherwise, it’s just me being a thot and you being uncomfortable which I’d like to avoid. Feel free to improvise whenever you see fit but just don’t overdo it, we’ll work up to making it really obvious. I could get frustrated and say something like ‘fuck me’ and you could say ‘okay.’”

Pete chuckled “I can do that.”

“You sound tired,” Patrick said after a second, the background noise of the shower had turned off.

Pete hummed “I am, it’s okay, though.”

“Go to sleep, Pete,” he could hear Patrick’s smile through the phone in his tone “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Alright, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Pete.”

  
  


“Pete, could you hurry up, I’m getting destroyed over here,” Patrick whined as Pete looked through new weapons before joining his stream partner in his fight.

“Relax, I’m right here. You’re not very stealthy.”

“Subtlety isn’t my strong suit, dear,” he said as his character ducked behind cover.

“That’s an understatement. Haven’t we been here before?” He asked, looking around the map before he realized that Patrick had moved on without him “goddamnit, Patrick.”

“What?” Patrick said. He pretended to not be good at games because it fit his persona of the gay version of the ‘gamer girl’ trope but he was pretty good, especially for someone not used to this style of games.

“Stop running off without me,”

“Can’t keep up?” Patrick paused “fuck, I’m about to die,”

“Wait for me then!” Pete laughed into his mic. For a moment he was almost able to forget that he was streaming and not just hanging out with his friend but then Patrick said it.

“Oh fuck me! I’m down,” it’s sounded so organic coming from Patrick but it was enough to remind Pete that this was all fake.

“I wish,” Pete huffed as he healed Patrick’s character. He allowed himself a quick glance at his chat, which had definitely not missed that “accidental” slip of the tongue, but he didn’t have time to read it until they got to a sheltered location.

“What was that?” Patrick asked innocently.

“Nothing,” Pete said quickly as they moved into the next stage “I didn’t say anything.”

“Sure,” Patrick laughed “that would make for a memorable stream though, don’t you think?”

Pete hoped his very real shock wasn’t obvious on his face as he attempted to take the comment in stride “shut up and come help me,”

“Yes sir,” Patrick giggled.

Pete stopped to read his chat as he waited for Patrick between two buildings where he was pretty sure he was safe.

_ Pete’s straight so this just them joking _

_ He’s not actually, he jyst doesnt talk about it much but hes said hes lgbt a few times on stream _

_ Can anyone drop the link to where he said that? _

_ I dont remember the video but he definitely said something some time last year _

_ are they a thing or??? _

_ No Patrick’s just like that _

_ I didnt know he actually gamed tbh _

_ its cute that pete just goes along with it like yeah this is normal _

_ am i the only one that would actually watch that if they streamed it?? _

Pete rolled his eyes and looked away from chat as Patrick rejoined him “hey, everything okay?” to the viewers, that could be taken as Patrick asking if Pete’s character was okay but Pete got the real meaning.

“Yeah, I’m good, let’s keep going.”

  
  


“You don’t think I overdid it?” Patrick asked over facetime once they finished the stream.

Pete shook his head while he brushed his teeth. It was an oddly domestic moment for someone who Pete had met so recently. He spit into the sink and wiped his mouth “you were fine. I got a ton of new subs tonight so I guess your plan works.”

“Are you really surprised?” Patrick asked as he stretched out in bed. He was only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and Pete forced himself to only look at his face.

“No, of course not, you’re kind of an evil genius.”

Patrick propped himself up on one elbow “you don’t think this is wrong, do you?”

Pete shrugged “not really, I mean… it’s probably not the best thing I’ve ever done but also not the worst.”

“Ooh,” Patrick purred “what is the worst, then? Tell me all your dirty secrets?”

Pete chuckled “save it for the stream. How long until we let it slip that we’re dating? I mean, not dating but, dating.”

Patrick grinned “I actually had an idea about that. You come over while I’m streaming and walk on camera so it seems like you didn’t realize I was live.”

“Cute, seems believable, I’m a big enough dumbass to do that. When?”

Patrick yawned and rolled onto his stomach. Pete didn’t know if he was showing off his ass on purpose but it was working. “Next Monday? I want to get to the point where we leak our sex tape soon.”

Pete rolled his eyes “you sure this is still fake?”

“You won’t fuck me for views?” Patrick teased, raising his hips a bit and that was definitely too much for Pete to handle.

“Goodnight, Patrick.”

“Aw, goodnight, Pete.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me comments or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) so I can feel validated.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey everyone,” he chuckled, glancing over the chat, which was understandably focused on Patrick “no, Patrick isn’t joining me tonight, he has his own stream. I’m just hopping on to do some collection grinding in Subnautica tonight.”

He loaded the game while waiting for his viewership numbers to rise just a bit more “we’re going to wait a little while and do a q and a type stream together but I’ll talk about it a little bit, I suppose. The reality is that this is still really new, under normal circumstances, we wouldn’t be public at this point but… y’know…” he chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. He glanced at the chat.

_ Did you really not know he was streaming? ;) _

_ The video seemed so cute and genuine _

_ You make such a cute couple, even if things are still new _

_ It’s sad that you were made to come out so publicly when you weren’t ready, but your relationship makes me really happy and confident in my own sexuality, thank you. _

Pete smiled at the chat, it simultaneously validated his choice and made him feel guiltier but he wasn’t going to let that show on his face. He started the game which was usually low-key enough that he could watch the chat while he played. He also could also subtly check his phone after a few hours when it lit up on his desk.

_ Patrick: your stream going well? I just wrapped up and had a good response _

Pete texted back while he looked through his inventory.

_ Going well. Chat’s very curious _

_ Patrick: perfect. Stream with me later in the week? _

Pete sent a thumbs up emoji before turning his phone over so that he could concentrate on his stream again.

  
  


They scheduled their next stream for that Saturday so as to make their viewers wait and keep the conversation going online. They chose to play Super Mario as something a bit more lighthearted and while they did bounce the idea of playing at Patrick’s apartment off each other, they decided that would require them to answer questions about their relationship and they wanted to save that for later. Their audience had definitely been waiting for them to stream together again as Pete noticed his viewership numbers spike higher than they had all week as he tweeted that he was live with Patrick.

“Hey everyone,”

“Hi,” Patrick laughed from his line of Pete’s headset.

“Hi, babe,” Pete said, shifting his leg under his desk so the webcam didn’t catch how he was bouncing it anxiously without him meaning for it to.

Patrick giggled again and Pete wished that he could see his stream, which he supposed he could pull up if he really wanted to but he knew that it would only distract him. “This game is super nostalgic for me,” Patrick continued “I remember playing sick and once my mom went to work, I’d play Mario on the wii all day,”

“You really are a rebel, huh?” Pete joked as they started the game “are we starting from level one?”

“Might as well, I haven’t unlocked much because I’ve been waiting for someone to play with…”

Pete bit the inside of his cheek as they started the first level “glad I can be of service,”

“Hurry up, sugar, I’m way ahead of you already,” Patrick teased.

“Right, sorry, on my way.”

_ The pet names are so cute wtf _

_ Does this feel a tiny bit forced to anyone else? _

_ I think it’s just that we’re not used to it from Pete _

_ New relationships are always a little awkward to begin with, they’re super cute tho _

_ Goals!!! _

_ Are you going back to Wolfenstien later? _

_ This reminds me of me and my bf _

_ Stream plans for tomorrow? I have to leave early tonight (stupid work) _

_ Is anyone clipping them being cute _

“Oops,” Patrick laughed “come get me, I over-jumped and fell off,”

“I thought you were the Mario expert?” Pete teased.

“I’m a little rusty?”

“Excuses,”

_ I wish I had friends who played games with me _

_ “Friends” lol _

_ Do we know how long theyve been together? _

_ I used to play Mario every day after school lol I think I still have all the levels memorized _

_ Nintendo games are always so cute and nostalgic _

_ They've been together a few weeks but we don't know exactly how long _

_ It’s cute seeing them play something more lowkey _

“I still have more coins than you, and I’m going to finish first if you don’t hurry up,”

“I’ve heard that before,” Pete couldn’t resist that one.

“Shut up,” Patrick whined.

_ I didn’t expect Pete to be so open with this, he’s usually pretty closed off _

_ It’s honestly weird how much some streamers share, I think Pete’s smart to leave some stuff private _

_ There’s a difference between closed off and private _

_ I get what they meant, though, it’s a little surprising from Pete _

_ It’s nice seeing him so happy though! _

_ For sure! He seems so happy with Patrick _

_ Who wouldn’t be? Patrick’s adorable *u* _

_ It sucks that he couldn’t keep this private if he wanted to _

_ I’m glad we know though! Even if the way it happened sucked _

“You’re lucky I don’t mind carrying this team,” Patrick said as he finished the level.

“I don’t seem to recall me dying,” Pete replied, reaching the flag only seconds after him.

“That was one time, and it won’t happen next time, I just needed to get used to the controls,”

“Uh huh, I’m sure,”

“Give me a second to read some stuff,” Patrick said, switching his mic off. Pete did the same as he read through his donation notes.

“First of all, you are Patrick are adorable,” Pete read off the screen "thank you,” he interjected with a chuckle before continuing on with the message “I’m currently applying for a new job which is very stressful so having your streams to keep my mind off the anxiety is great,” Pete cracked his knuckles under his desk, “well, I’m glad I could help. Job hunting sucks, just stick in there.” He scrolled to the next message and continued “I love watching your streams when they line up with my schedule (fuck you, timezones), they’ve really helped keep me entertained and also with my english. Thanks for being so nice and having such a great community,” he read, smiling “hey, that’s awesome that I could help with that, though I don’t know if I’m the best person to be learning english since I can barely speak it myself, but it’s cool that you’re doing that and that I could help out, I’m happy to have you when the timing lines up.”

Patrick’s feed came back through his headset “I’m ready whenever you are,”

“Level two?”

“I’m not going to die this time,”

“If you say so,”

  
  


Now that their “relationship” was public, Pete felt that he heard from Patrick less than ever. They talked on streams, obviously, and touched bases before they went live together but besides that… Pete found himself missing Patrick’s company, even if it was only just casual text and facetime conversations. Patrick was very much business focused now, any attempt Pete made to have a casual conversation off-stream was quickly shifted back to work - to what they were planning next or how their audience was taking it. Pete briefly found himself wondering if he should tell Patrick he was done but he wasn’t going to quit on this yet. It would only be a few more weeks before they could conceivably split, and then things would be normal again. He would have no obligation to even keep Patrick in his life once their agreement was over, at this point he didn’t see any life with Patrick as friends any more. Maybe that’s how Patrick always saw them, as coworkers using the system to their advantage. Shame that Pete couldn’t make his brain work like that.

“Pete, are you listening?”

Pete glanced back at Patrick’s face on his computer screen “yeah, sorry, just tired,”

Patrick’s focused look broke for a second “well maybe if you got out of bed...” he teased “but like I was saying, I put together some questions that I’ve gotten a lot in my chat and on social media, I can text them to you so we can have answers prepared,”

“Sure, sounds good,” Pete said, looking back at his bookcase just as something to look at that wasn’t Patrick.

“And you can add in anything you think I missed and if we’re doing it live then I’m sure chat will come up with new ones.” Patrick fell silent for a moment “is something wrong, Pete?”

Pete shook his head “just tired, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s only a few more weeks,”

Pete looked back at him “huh?”

Patrick sighed and leaned back in his desk chair “I just… I feel like you’re tired of acting, and I get that, I’m sorry that I put you up to this.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Patrick,”

Patrick chewed his lip and nodded “right, sorry,”

Pete sighed and rubbed his eyes “no, I’m sorry for snapping at you. I just - yeah, I’m tired of acting. It’s not your fault, though, you’re right, a few weeks isn’t that long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy (belated) Valentine's day! Sorry this is going up a day late but I wasn't home yesterday.
> 
> Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have any feedback! I love to hear from you! See you next week!


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey everyone!” Patrick said from beside Pete. They were sitting on Patrick’s bed with his streaming equipment set up and live on both of their channels. “We’ll hold on a second to let people join before starting.”

Pete shifted his laptop closer to see his stream’s chat.

_ YES I’ve been waiting for this q and a since they went public _

_ ngl if they kiss on stream im screaming _

_ what’s your favorite thing about stumpstreaks/patrick? _

_ tell patrick I say hi! picking which stream to watch was hard _

_ are you playing anything tonight or just chatting? _

Pete took Patrick’s hand and Patrick squeezed his hand comfortingly “how’s everyone doing tonight?”

_ This is not a drill _

_ pete has the audacity to ask how i am after grabbing patricks hand like that _

_ did anyone else catch Patrick’s smile when Pete held his hand or? _

_ better now lol _

“Should we start?” Patrick asked, crossing his legs under him. When Pete nodded, he leaned over to see his own chat “so we figured with some questions we’ve already heard a ton of times just to get those out of the way,” he leaned back into Pete “so the one I’ve been getting non-stop is how did we get together and honestly,” he glanced up at Pete and giggled “it was pretty sudden. We started talking on Twitter and I had gotten out of a relationship relatively recently so I wasn’t looking for a relationship but Pete has some sort of magnitude.”

Pete rolled his eyes “to add some more specifics, I asked Patrick to get coffee with me after we’d been talking for a few days. It was actually my chat that introduced me to Patrick as a streamer so thanks for that. A question I’ve heard a lot is whether we’ll be streaming together more and while we will probably be streaming together sometimes, we also do still have separate lives so it won’t be as if all our streams will be together now.”

“A question I’ve heard a lot is whether being in a relationship will change my content and - don’t panic, guys - I’m still a touch starved twink in and out of a relationship,” he winked at the camera and Pete kissed his cheek.

“I knew the kind of streams Patrick did before I asked him out, it was never a concern for me, and it’s none of my business anyway. I know some people would be insecure with having such an attractive, confidant partner but I have no complaints,” Patrick elbowed his ribs and Pete pushed him away playfully “jokes aside, no, I have no issues with Patrick doing whatever the hell he wants so long as he’s still mine at the end of the day.”

Patrick looked up at him and either he was a great actor or he really appreciated Pete’s words because he had a stunned look of appreciation on his face for a second before he kissed him. Pete tried not to get lost in kissing Patrick but it was hard when he was leaning into him like that and had his hands on Pete’s chest. After a second, he did push Patrick gently back “down boy,” he chuckled “I’m going to switch to questions from the chat now since I’m out with the really big ones that everyone seemed to be asking.” He glanced through his chat before finding one he liked “what was your first impression of Patrick?” He grinned, it was nice having one that he could answer honestly “I thought Patrick was so confident and sweet which was really nice to see, honestly he just seemed like such a caring person - and, obviously, he’s fucking adorable.” He wondered if Patrick knew that he was answering that one honestly.

“Well, I just thought you were crazy hot,” Patrick chuckled as he watched his own chat “do you plan on moving in together slash have you already?” Patrick laughed “I feel like some of you guys don’t understand just how new this is. So usually when -” he scoffed “I don’t want to say celebrities because that’s stupid but when people in the public eye make a relationship public, they’ve been together for months and already are pretty stable but Pete and I have only known each other for a few weeks so I mean… right now we’re just excited to see where things go but no, we still have our separate homes and it will likely stay that way for some time.”

Pete nodded and read his own chat again “we’re taking things slow - for that at least. Hm, any tips for communicating in a relationship?” Pete exhaled softly “that one’s tough, being open about your emotions and your needs is hard a lot of the time, I’ve always tried to be pretty open from the start because I find that if you start a relationship on communication, it’s easier to keep it up rather than struggling to introduce honesty later on. But yeah, talk to your partner. Patrick and I,” he moved one hand to Patrick’s thigh almost subconsciously “have obviously had to have some hard conversations already when it comes to sharing things and deciding what will stay private.”

Patrick nodded “and as hard as communication is in any relationship, if you feel like there are some things you just can’t tell your partner because you think they’ll judge you or anything, then it’s probably not the right relationship for you anyway.” Patrick looked back at his chat and laughed “does Pete get jealous at all during your streams? I don’t know, does he?” He laughed, leaning his head on Pete’s shoulder.

“I don’t know if jealous is the right word… I mean, sometimes if Patrick is streaming and I’m not doing anything, I’m upset that he can’t be with me but because he’s streaming, I just miss him more than anything. It’s nice to have alone time, though, we both have very high-stress jobs so being able to just do nothing sometimes is really nice. Do you have a dream date you want to go on together?” He read “I don’t think we’ve really talked about it, have we?”

Patrick shook his head “with our schedules being so busy, most of our dates are just watching Netflix and snuggling, honestly,” he giggled “but I think in the future - we’ve both talked about how we want to travel more - so I’d love to get the opportunity to do that with Pete.” Patrick leaned over to read his chat and Pete ran one hand up his spine casually while he waited until he laughed “who’s the little spoon?”

Pete laughed and pulled Patrick closer again with his arm around his shoulder “it depends on the day, but if this is a thinly disguised way to ask who tops, that’s not something we’re answering quite yet,” he winked.

  
  


Patrick turned off the stream after answering questions and chatting for a while longer and they both visibly relaxed. “That went well,” Patrick observed, leaning into Pete.

Pete wrapped one arm back around him and yawned “you’re such a natural at this stuff,”

Patrick yawned as well and hummed “is that so? I’d say you’re the one who’s a natural. So I guess,” he leaned back “what, another week or so?”

Pete ran his fingers through his hair “yeah, I guess so. It’s been kind of fun, though, so thanks for that.”

Patrick rolled his eyes and pushed Pete’s shoulder “don’t get all sappy. We’re not actually breaking up.”

Pete scoffed and hoped it didn’t sound too forced “I know, I’m just saying. Are you tired?”

Patrick nodded and pulled off his Zelda t-shirt “yeah. Do you want to stay the night? I’ve got the spare bedroom set up.”

“I don’t want to impose,” Pete said, standing up.

“It’s fine, Pete, really, you seem pretty worn out.”

Pete was going to protest but was cut off by another yawn “alright, if you’re sure.”

“I’ll find some clothes in your size.”

Pete chuckled and followed him to his closet “you don’t need to do that, Patrick, I can sleep in sweatpants.”

Patrick shrugged and turned back around, bumping into Pete and then laughing “sorry. I mean, okay, if you’re sure you don’t mind doing the walk of shame tomorrow.”

Pete rolled his eyes “I’ve done it before, I’ll survive.”

Patrick laughed again and took him to a bedroom down the hall “I’m sure you have, looking like that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh?” Patrick chewed his lip with mock innocence “nothing.”

  
  


Pete woke up to the sound of the front door opening. The curtains of Patrick’s spare room were closed but Pete could still tell from the light filtering through them that the sun was already up. He checked his phone to see that it was 8:30 which was pretty early for him but he could hear Patrick moving around the house from behind the door. He didn’t want to go back to bed for fear he’d sleep until noon so instead, he got up and went out into Patrick’s living room. He found Patrick in the small kitchen where he was looking through a cloth bag.

“Morning,” Pete mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Patrick spun around and put one hand over his chest “fuck, didn’t expect you to be up so early. Coffee?”

“Please.” Pete chuckled and leaned against the counter.

“How do you like it?”

Pete watched Patrick for a second and smiled “rough. I take my coffee with milk and sugar, though, I can do that part myself.”

Patrick rolled his eyes “you really are hilarious. I have almond and oat milk so you’ll have to work with those.” He set both cartons along with a jar of sugar on the counter next to a mug of freshly-poured coffee.

“Vegan or lactose intolerant?” Pete asked, making his coffee before putting things away the best he could.

Patrick sipped his own coffee “neither, I’m not strictly vegan at least, I am vegetarian, though. Can I offer you breakfast?”

“Sure,” Pete yawned “if you want to. Are you streaming today?”

Patrick nodded “at eleven.” He looked Pete over quickly and Pete was very much aware of the fact that he was only wearing sweatpants “I stand by my statement from last night, by the way,”

Pete raised an eyebrow “which one?”

“That you’re hot. I could do toast or bread, I think I have cereal, and possibly stuff for pancakes if you’re sticking around for a while.”

Pete exhaled softly and looked at the floor instead as Patrick bent over the counter to reach for another bag “I’ll just have whatever you’re having. Thanks for letting me crash here and feeding me and all,”

Patrick stood back up and turned to face him again “no problem. We should have at least one set of scandalous photos get out before we break up, right? Let someone catch you in the same clothes as yesterday?”

Pete groaned “please, no. I do not need that.”

Patrick took a loaf of fresh bread out of one of the bags before slicing it on a cutting board “relax, I’m kidding. So when do you want to break up anyway?”

“I can confidently say that no one has ever asked me that before,” he chuckled, but it felt forced “whenever you want, I’m too tired to talk work right now.”

“Understandable.” Patrick handed Pete a plate with two slices of bread on it “I have a couple types of jam and vegan butter in the fridge, help yourself to whatever you want.”

Pete was content with just eating the break plane as it was really delicious bread. He wasn’t sure if it was worth waking up early every morning for, but he was very grateful that Patrick was sharing for that morning at least. The comment about a fan running into them did bring up a new concern for Pete - that once they broke up, there would be no more coffee shop dates or anything of that sort because being seen in public together would raise suspicion about whether they were still together or, worse, if they ever were. As much as Pete didn’t like the idea, he was coming to the conclusion that them “breaking up” would be the end of their friendship as well, whether they wanted it to or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domesticity really is my shit. Enjoy the fluff while you have it. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have feedback!


	8. Chapter 8

With no more major plans in place for their relationship until their breakup announcement, Pete found himself feeling like things were already over and somehow like they had actually broken up. As much as he loved talking to Patrick, he found himself dreading when Patrick called him that afternoon because that was when they were planning how they would go about ending things. As much as he dreaded it, though, Patrick’s contact still showed up on his phone, though, and Pete wasn’t quite enough in denial to not pick up.

“Hey, Patrick,” he said as he hit answer.

“Hey, you got time to talk?”

“Yeah, I’m just setting up my stream so I’ve got a few minutes,”

“Perfect. I was thinking just under two weeks if that’s okay? A week seems too predictable. We could keep things up this week and then next week stop streaming together but not talk about it and then make a post about it on… Thursday?”

“Oh wow,” Pete laughed coldly “you’ve really got this whole thing planned out, huh?”

Patrick was quiet for a moment and then he sighed “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to push you out of my life or anything.”

“I understand, it’s business.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, just stressed about people finding out.” He lied. He couldn’t deny how much he wanted to keep Patrick in his life anymore. He couldn’t even ignore that part of him wanted Patrick in his life as more than a friend. He couldn’t deny that Patrick was sexy but he also had this energy that Pete felt like he needed in his life. Patrick tasted like peppermint and felt like sunshine, which was a stupid and cliche thought to have but he couldn’t help it. Being around him felt like warm summer afternoons where things just felt right, because being with Patrick felt right, waking up to Patrick felt right, kissing Patrick felt right.

“No one is going to find out, Pete, just relax. Just act normal until next Thursday and then we’ll go our separate ways with our higher paychecks and no one will even care because people break up every day.”

“Right,” Pete nodded “you’re right. I’m just being paranoid, but yeah, Thursday works. So streaming together like everything’s normal this week?”

“Yeah, because everything  _ is _ normal. Tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Pete put his head in his hands “tomorrow sounds great. Just pick something to play,”

“You got it. See you then!” Patrick said cheerfully.

“See you then” Pete echoed before hanging up and putting his head down. Fuck. How was he going to get through these next two weeks with Patrick knowing that their time together had an expiration date?

  
  


Pete got himself together by the time he had to go live, thank god, and was streaming with a friend of his, which made for a good distraction. “Andy, dude, what’s up? How’s Portland” he said into his mic before they went live.

“It’s good, I miss you like hell, though. How are you?”

Pete fidgeted with a ring “I miss you too. It’s good, I mean, same old.”

“You fucking liar. Do you think I don’t have an internet connection?” Andy laughed “congrats, though, man, you two seem happy together. He’s cute.”

“Oh, Patrick? Yeah,” so much for a distraction “he’s great. It’s still really early, though, but since I’m a fucking dumbass and we gave it away.”

“What does your mom think of everything?”

Fuck, Pete hoped that his family didn’t know about Patrick but he was sure they did with the amount of publicity they’d gotten online. He should check in with them. “Eh… they don’t know yet, or at least, I haven’t told them.”

Andy laughed “you really are a dumbass, Pete. Tell your goddamn mother before she reads too many tabloids and thinks you’re dating a sex worker - not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

“Can we focus on work?” Pete asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Sure, didn’t mean to overstep. Is everything okay, Pete?” Andy knew him well and Pete knew that he would call him out on his bullshit when he deserved it (which Pete knew right now that he very much did.)

“It’s fine,” Pete said “I just get tired of talking about him constantly, like, he’s amazing and all but it’s like it's all anyone asks me about. I’ll still be my own person without him.”

Andy was quiet for a moment “you say that like you don’t think it will last… are you sure you’re okay, Pete?”

“It’s just still new. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks.” 

“If you say so.” Andy cleared his throat “you ready to start?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll start it now.” He said, turning his stream on. He had a few minutes to let people join before he linked his audio and webcam, letting the stream gain viewership first.

“One more thing and then I’ll drop it,” Andy said, concern heavy on his voice “just tell me if you need anything, okay?”

“I will, thanks, man,” Pete said, resting his head in his hands for a moment before checking his hair in his webcam. Pete swallowed, reading over his chat even though he couldn’t focus. It was going to be a long week. He exhaled deeply before connecting his audio and video stream “hey, everyone!” He said cheerfully “I brought a friend along this time,” he glanced at the chat and resisted pursing his lips in frustration when it was filled with people hoping it would be Patrick joining him “no, it’s not Patrick this time. You guys know Andy, though, if you don’t, he’s veggiesandanarchy on twitch and he’s kind of the best person ever.”

“Thank you, Pete,” Andy laughed through the headset “such a lovely introduction. What are we doin’ tonight then?”

“Playing overcooked until we decide we hate each other?”

Andy laughed “sweet, I can’t wait to end this friendship.”

“You’re on. We had a good run anyway.”

  
  


_ Patrick: good stream tonight :) _

Pete read over the text as he toweled off his hair. He’d heard his phone buzz while he was in the shower and secretly had been hoping that it had been Patrick - and then he’d been hoping that it was anyone else. God, he couldn’t make up his mind.

_ Did you watch? _

_ Patrick: yessir. Seemed like you had a good time. _

The text came in while Pete brushed his teeth. Pete texted back with his free hand.

_ I guess. Andy and I have known each other forever. _

_ Patrick: are you two a thing? _

Pete nearly choked. Did Patrick really think he’d be dating someone else during this? He wasn’t that stupid. Also, Andy - while one of Pete’s closest friends - was definitely not the kind of person Pete would date, he was far too high maintenance. He wanted someone who he could easily spend all day in bed without feeling the need to move or even say anything, Andy was too active for that. 

_ We’re just friends. Why do you ask? _

_ Patrick: you just seem to get along is all. I wouldn’t care if you were. You have full permission to cheat on me as much as you want _

Even though it was a joke, Pete didn’t feel good reading it.

_ Patrick: just don’t get caught _

Pete leaned against the sink and looked down at the messages until water ran off his hair and into his eyes, then he locked his phone until he was dried off and in bed.

_ I’m not seeing anyone. _

_ Patrick: probably for the best, it would throw a wrench in our plan if people found out _

_ Patrick: you probably would get in trouble if people thought you were cheating on me _

Pete chewed his lip while he texted back. He didn’t like this.

_ I’d never. _

_ Patrick: you’re such a gentleman. Shame my actual boyfriends never acted like you lol _

Pete turned his phone off after that.

  
  


_ Patrick: Too far? _

_ Patrick: I really hope you just fell asleep and that I didn’t freak you out _

_ Patrick: I’m sorry _

Pete sighed as he checked his phone the next morning. As annoyed as Pete was with the situation, it wasn’t Patrick’s fault and he didn’t deserve to hurt.

_ Sorry, fell asleep _

He yawned and then sent another text, knowing if he were in Patrick’s position, he’d need someone to spell out that they weren’t mad at him.

_ You didn’t do anything wrong _

Pete didn’t expect Patrick to text back right away so he set his phone down while he made breakfast: a sophisticated meal of toast with butter. It was no match for the bread he’d had with Patrick. He needed to get himself to stop thinking of that morning. When he sat down, his phone screen was lit up with a notification.

_ Patrick: Glad to hear I didn’t scare you off _

Pete chuckled as he ate. He wanted to see Patrick. He ignored that last thought.

_ Of course not. Don’t you think I’d be used to you by now? _

_ Patrick: I suppose you have a point. Streaming today? _

_ Later, yeah. You joining me? _

_ Patrick: can do. Good to get a few more in before we break up _

He just couldn’t let him forget that, could he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this fic does have a happy ending eventually.  
> I wanted to say thank you for all the feedback I've gotten on this fic, it's honestly amazing. To everyone to comments on every chapter, you literally make me so happy. I love any (polite) feedback so don't hesitate to reach out to me!  
> Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 9

_ Yesss another stream with Patrick! _

_ Am I the only one who likes Pete’s solo streams more? _

_ Lmao yeah you are, his chemistry with Patrick is adorable _

_ No cap if they break up, love is dead _

_ I get what they mean tho, his solo streams are more low key _

_ No accounting for personal preference I guess _

_ I’m just happy that they’re both happy _

“Would now be a good time to tell you that I’m horrible at puzzle games?” Patrick asked through the headset as they tried to figure out the Portal level, distracting Pete from his chat.

“Fantastic, because I am too.” Pete laughed, “clearly.”

_ Theyre gay and dumb I love them _

_ They share a single brain cell but they lost it _

_ This is painful to watch _

_ Should we tell them? _

_ Let them figure it out on their own, it’s funny _

“This was not our best idea, was it?” Patrick joked as he looked around the virtual room again “and I was going to show off my outfit, I guess you’ll just have to wait.”

“Do I get to see?” Pete asked casually.

“Aw, baby, of course you do.” Patrick practically purred into the mic “pull up my stream and you can see it just like everyone else. I’ll send you your own photos once we turn the cameras off too.” That hurt. Pete hoped that it didn’t show on his face.

_ Pete’s face when he said that omg _

_ I love that Patrick doesn’t bother to hold back anymore _

_ Feeling very jealous of Pete rn _

_ Not to sound straight but Patrick is so sexy, do you think he cares that women find him hot too? _

_ I think he’s happy so long as you pay him lol, and I mean that in a good way _

_ He’s certainly good at what he does _

“Pete?” Patrick said, “you still with us?”

Pete straightened up and turned his attention back to the game, where Patrick had almost finished the level without his help “what? Sorry. Just trying to figure this out.”

“Ah,” Patrick laughed “well, if you know how to finish this, please feel free to enlighten me.”

“Uh… yeah. Go up to the second level.”

“Yes, sir,” Patrick said cheerfully “whatever you say.”

“Stop that,” Pete laughed and opened Patrick’s stream on his monitor, it was distracting and a bit annoying how there was a lag on Pete’s audio and the stream but he wanted to see him.

“Stop what?” Patrick giggled, batting his eyes at the camera before rolling his eyes. There was something very attractive about how clearly faked that innocent act was. “Pete, I swear, you’re no help, could you just -”

Pete chuckled as the screen changed, telling them that they’d completed the level “you were saying, smartass? I think you owe me a bit of a show now.”

Patrick glanced at the camera and smiled “I guess I did promise.” He rolled his chair back before standing up to show off an oversized white t-shirt with a thin rainbow stripe running across the chest. His shirt was tucked neatly into athletic shorts. Patrick lifted his arms above his head and stretched “what do you all think?” Pete didn’t realize he was staring until he glanced at his chat.

_ Pete said O.O _

_ He’s so in love aw _

_ Did he forget he’s live or??? _

_ Earth to Pete _

“Pete is a lucky man, you should tell him that,” Patrick leaned over his desk and read “you hear that Pete?”

Pete chuckled “I heard you. I agree.”

Patrick sat back down and yawned “you still coming over tonight after this, baby?”

Pete tried to play his role the best he could but he also did not want to do this right now“I thought we were saving that for off-stream?”

“Aw, killjoy,” Patrick said, pushing his hair back “next level?”

  
  


Pete was rather antisocial the next few days, even more than usual. He all but ignored his social media and slept most of the time that he wasn’t streaming. He managed to stick to his streaming schedule but only barely, he didn’t bother to check and see if anyone was catching on, he’d just chalk it up to being about Patrick once things ended between them. He definitely didn’t talk to Patrick, which probably only made him feel worse but he couldn’t handle talking about work. He saw the unopened messages from people asking if he was okay, he’d get to them later. He only got himself out of bed and away from the television to shower and stream. He took Monday off for ‘technical reasons while he set up new equipment’ so that he could wait for his brain to right itself. His two days off felt like a blessing but then he also had nothing to get him out of bed so he just laid in bed with the television on but he wasn’t watching it. He checked his phone, not to look at his notifications directly but he couldn’t help but see a few new messages.

_ Patrick: I know you’re ignoring me but please just tell me if you’re okay _

_ Patrick: I’m sorry and I miss you. Please tell me if I can do anything for you _

_ Patrick: I’ll leave you alone now but I’m just really scared rn _

Pete sighed and put the phone back down. Patrick would be just fine on his own for a few more hours while he napped some more. As it turned out, he was wrong about that, because he woke up to a knock on his door. He figured that it was his landlord or someone at the wrong door so he ignored it for a minute but then they knocked again. He yawned and pulled himself out of bed before opening the door. Before he could fully register what was happening, Patrick had all but jumped into his arms - and he was crying. “Fuck, don’t scare me like that, Pete!” He yelled, pressing his face into Pete’s chest.

Pete didn’t say anything, just kicked the door shut and then held Patrick until he calmed down. Eventually, Patrick’s crying stopped but he kept his grip tight on the back of Pete’s sweatshirt and his head on Pete’s shoulder “I thought…” he said in a slightly steadier voice “that you’d -” he sniffled and chewed his lip “I’m sorry for freaking out on you, I just needed to know you were okay. I got your address from Andy, I hope you don’t mind. I-I should let him know you’re okay, he’s worried too.” He said, backing up and taking his phone out of the pocket of his skinny jeans.

“I’m sorry, I should have texted you back, I just…” Pete sighed and sat down on the couch “I’m sorry I’m an asshole,”

Patrick pulled his t-shirt up to wipe his eyes “no, it’s okay, I just needed to know that you’re safe. Do you want me to stay?”

Pete held one hand out and Patrick immediately curled up beside him, his head on Pete’s shoulder and his arms around his waist. “Thanks for checking in on me,” he breathed into Patrick’s hair, holding him close almost more as a comfort to Patrick than to him. He hadn’t expected anyone to really care that much about him, especially not someone who knew him in person.

“We can stop now if you want, I didn’t think things would be this hard,” Patrick ran his fingers up and down Pete’s chest but then balled his fist and put it back on his lap “sorry, I guess we should stop that if we’re not-”

“Patrick,” Pete started, wanting to distract himself but also Patrick “can we… not focus on work right now?” he felt like his brain was underwater and he couldn’t keep up.

“Oh,” Patrick nodded and scooted closer to him “sure, sorry. What do you want to talk about?”

Pete absentmindedly carded his fingers through Patrick’s hair. He didn’t reply and Patrick didn’t ask again. Despite how much time Pete had spent in bed the past couple of days, he also still felt exhausted. After - he couldn’t tell how long, maybe an hour, maybe only a few minutes - he felt Patrick’s breathing grow even and his head fell against his chest. Pete shifted to lay down as slowly and gently as he could so as not to wake Patrick up.

Pete woke up with the room dark besides the dim light off the street filtering through the blinds of his apartment. Pete couldn’t see well but he could feel the weight of Patrick still on top of him. He shifted one arm to run his fingers through his hair, he didn’t want to wake him but also needed to feel him. After a few minutes of watching the ceiling (which he couldn’t actually see but he knew it was somewhere in front of his eyes), he felt Patrick shift on top of him, his head tilting slightly into Pete’s hand.

“What time is it?” Patrick asked after a moment, his voice raspy until he cleared his throat.

“No idea, my watch died this morning.” He rubbed the back of Patrick’s neck until Patrick groaned softly “you can go back to sleep if you want.”

Patrick shook his head and raised himself up on one arm “it’s fine. How are you feeling?” Patrick used his free hand to rub Pete’s jaw.

Pete shrugged “not great, I’m glad you’re here, though. I just get like this sometimes.”

“Well, you can always ask me to come over when you want company. We don’t have to do or talk about anything if you don’t want to, we can just stay in bed and do whatever you want but you won’t have to be alone.”

Pete smiled, it was a nice idea, until he realized that it wasn’t possible. In a few days, they’d be broken up and couldn’t have contact anymore. Once he realized that, he wanted Patrick away from him, he didn’t want to be doing this because it would only make things harder when it ended. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Patrick that, though. A part of him hoped that maybe if he just ignored it, Patrick might forget that this was all fake. “I’d like that.”

The room was suddenly lit up with blue light as Patrick checked his phone. 2:41. Not that Pete meant to spy. Patrick’s lockscreen had a photo of him with another man around their age, they were both smiling and sitting on what looked like a front porch. Curiosity got the better of him. “Is that your boyfriend?”

“Huh?” Patrick asked, looking up at him. He’d taken his glasses off at some point since getting there. “Oh,” he laughed “no, that’s my brother.”

Pete chewed his lip, usually, he probably would have laughed too but tonight it just made him feel worse. He barely even knew Patrick, that was becoming more and more clear.

“Do you have any siblings?” Patrick asked, sitting up.

Pete shifted to sit up as well and hummed. Patrick had put his phone down so the room was dark again. “I have a younger sister, she’s in New York for school.”

Patrick ran his hand over Pete’s knee casually “it’s good to hear your voice.”

“Thank you for coming, Patrick, really. It means a lot.”

Patrick leaned over and hugged him. They didn’t say anything for a while after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is definitely the angstiest thing I've written so I'm glad that you guys are enjoying it because it was a bit out of my comfort zone but I'm having fun writing it. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) or leave me a comment if you have any feedback! I love hearing from you! Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Something about waking up to sunlight and the smell of coffee brewing has a way of changing things. Pete was sure there must have been some scientific reason for it but somehow when he stretched out in bed that morning, things felt different. He wasn’t underwater anymore. They’d moved to Pete’s bed at some point in the night so they would have more room, although Pete was fairly certain than he remembered Patrick still pressing close against him as soon as they laid down. He felt the bed dip behind him as Patrick climbed back over to him. “Good morning,” he smiled into the back of Pete’s neck.

Pete rolled over to see him. “Morning,” he said and then had to laugh softly “what now?”

“Well…” Patrick said, wiggling closer and tucking his head under Pete’s chin “coffee’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

“I mean with us. Do you still want to end this?”

“It’s too early to worry about work, Pete.” Patrick said, his voice more serious now. Pete dropped it. Patrick was quiet until the coffee maker stopped making noise, he sat up then. Patrick protested softly before getting up as well. “I’ll get it,” he said, gently pushing Pete back into bed. Pete was too tired to protest. Patrick came back with two mugs of coffee and set one on the bedside table. Pete was impressed when he sat back up to take a sip and Patrick had remembered exactly how he took his coffee. They sat in silence on the bed and drank their coffee. Pete watched the sunlight creep over the unmade sheets as the world moved on around them. 

He glanced up at Patrick and saw that Patrick was looking at him as well “after I take a shower and we get breakfast, can we talk?” He asked cautiously.

Patrick sighed and nodded “I guess we should. I should probably get home before my stream anyway.”

  
  


Pete hoped that the right time to talk to Patrick would come naturally but as Patrick looked for his keys so that he could leave, Pete was still avoiding the conversation. Patrick picked up his car keys off the coffee table and turned back to Pete “did you still want to talk? I could spare a few minutes.”

Fuck. It was what Pete wanted but at the same time… it really wasn’t. “Yeah, actually, if you don’t mind.” Patrick plopped down on the couch, his legs pulled up under him. Pete joined him and sighed. Patrick’s smile faded. “So about this ending…” Pete said, spinning a ring on his finger nervously.

“Uh huh…” Patrick chewed his lip, observant eyes never leaving Pete’s face “what about it?”

Pete put his head in his hands. It was going to end anyway, he told himself. He’d been hyping himself up for this for… an hour or so actively. He’d rehearsed what he’d say in the shower and then in the mirror and again a few times while they ate breakfast just in case, he was sure until a second ago that he had his line memorized but now… Patrick put a hand on Pete’s shoulder but he shifted away, Patrick didn’t chase him. It was going to end anyway. He’d regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t say anything and never knew what would have happened. Except he did know. Patrick wasn’t the relationship type and they were both so busy. It would only end badly and he’d be more hurt in the end but.. He couldn’t just not say anything. If only he remembered what he was trying to say in the first place now. “I just…” he trailed off, words evading him again.

Patrick gave him a sad smile and put a hand over Pete’s “I know, me too,”

“I don’t think you do,” Pete chuckled coldly. If only Patrick knew. Except… maybe he did?

“I hope you don’t think I’m this… heartless and selfish enough that this is easy for me, my anxiety and guilt over this has been keeping me up but, Pete, at the end of the day, we did this and maybe it wasn’t the best thing we’ve ever done but what can we do now? We can’t take it back and coming clean only takes away the good that has come from this, the people who did think this whole thing is rather cute… it’s ruined for them then. We just need to accept things and end this so we can both move on.”

Patrick didn’t know. “Right,” Pete said, watching the floor. He was on the verge of correcting Patrick, of saying that Patrick had misunderstood him, that he didn’t want to move on, that all he wanted was to hold on as tight as he could but… “moving on.”

Patrick checked his electronic watch and reached up to play with Pete’s hair “easier said than done, I know, but we just need to do our best. I have to get to class soon but I’ll text you later and we’ll figure out what we do next.” Patrick got up but stopped with his hand on the doorknob “was that all you wanted to talk about?”

‘No. I need to tell you that I can’t let you go. You can’t just walk out of my life. You’re everything that I want. You make me smile like no one else has in a long long time. You make me laugh. You care about me more than pretty much anyone even though we barely know each other. If you walk out that door I’ll…’ “no, that’s all. Have fun in class.”

Patrick laughed “I’ll see you later, Pete.” And then he was gone. Pete missed his shot.

  
  


_ Patrick: two more streams together? _

Pete had an impromptu steam that afternoon to make up for the days he’d taken off (and also to keep his mind off his own failure to tell Patrick his concerns) but he hadn’t been counting on Patrick texting him just yet. It had only been a few hours since Patrick left but he supposed classes often lasted shorter periods than that. Pete slid his phone away from him, he told himself that he was busy and would text him later but he was also mad at Patrick. It was completely irrational, he knew, but emotions often were, especially Pete’s emotions and  _ especially _ Pete’s emotions when they came to love. Love was a strong word for it, for whatever he felt for Patrick but if it wasn’t love, what was it? A crush? Too childish. More than friendship surely, he knew that much at least. Infatuation? He wasn’t sure. Probably.

It wasn’t Patrick’s fault that Pete had been too cowardly to tell him how he felt. But it was Patrick who had cared about him enough to track down his address from his friends and make sure he was okay. It was Patrick who laid with him like it was what anyone would do. It was Patrick who had flirted with him on and off camera. Patrick who looked perfect in everything from athletic shorts and crop tops to sweatpants and oversized t-shirts or knit sweaters and ripped jeans. Patrick whose glasses fell down his nose and who pulled his sleeves over his hands and sat cross-legged and bit his tongue when he was concentrating on a game. Patrick who messaged him first. Patrick who had this idea in the first place. Patrick who made him fall in love with him and didn’t even realize it or mean to.

“Oh, Patrick?” Pete read from the chat “he’s good, I haven’t seen him since our q and a, he’s busy with school and I’ve been busy too so it’s… I’m sure he’ll be having his own stream soon, though, so you can ask him yourself.”

_ It’s good to see that youre feeling better! _

_ Do things still seem a bit off? _

_ Hope you enjoyed your vacation and got lots of sleep! _

_ No Patrick today? _

_ Welcome back! _

“Yeah, I just needed to take a mental health day. It’s been… a long week,” he chuckled to himself coldly, they really had no idea.

_ Take all the time you need! _

_ I always miss your streams but your mental health is more important _

_ Is everything okay? _

_ He seemed so happy their other day, though… _

_ A lot of people can relate to feeling drained or overworked, I hope things get better soon _

Pete shouldn’t be feeling sorry for himself. He had a fantastic fanbase who cared deeply about him and a job that a lot of people would kill for. Why did he even start this whole thing with Patrick? His ambition for more viewers? He hadn’t been desperate for more viewers before, he was quite content with his life before, at least he should have been. He didn’t know it at the time maybe, but now he was fairly certain that he had just wanted more time with Patrick in whatever way he could get it. Had he really not believed that Patrick would have wanted him as just a friend or perhaps even more? He had just wanted a way to keep Patrick in his life but now he had a set number of days left with him. His attempt to force his way into Patrick’s life was driving him away. That was a consistent theme in Pete’s life, though this specific situation was uncharted territory even for him.

Two streams. Two streams left.

_ It’s weird to see Pete so quiet after the past few streams with Patrick _

_ It’s kind of nice having the regular streams back _

_ That’s true, I kind of miss streams like this _

_ Unpopular opinion but I miss Patrick lol _

_ That’s a very popular opinion lmao _

_ True, petetrick has been all anyone has talked about since they got together _

_ Im happy for Pete _

_ We all are but its nice to see the old streams again _

Pete focused on his Destiny raid for a while, letting himself get lost in the sci fi world for a while. His chat moved away from the subject of Patrick for a while even. “It’s good to see you back,” Pete read off of one of his donation messages “it’s really helpful seeing someone in the entertainment field talk about burnout so I hope you keep putting yourself first.” Pete set his controller down “I don’t think any field takes mental health as seriously as it should but entertainment is especially notorious for ignoring the issues. I do love what I do but even I feel worn out sometimes. Somehow people have gotten this idea that if you enjoy your work you should be able to do it nonstop but you just… you can’t… I appreciate you all caring so much. I hope that if any of you are dealing with anything that it’s okay to put yourself first even if it makes someone else upset.”

_ I wish more people knew this _

_ Preach _

_ Mental health is 100% as important as physical health _

_ This is why I want to become a counselor _

_ I wish I could take a break but my boss doesn’t feel the same way _

_ Do you have any advice for people who are feeling worn out? _

Pete leaned back in his chair “so I’m not a mental or physical health professional I’m just a guy with a microphone and a webcam so don’t take my word as scripture here, I can only say what works for me but don’t be afraid to be honest with people about needing to take a step back. I think you’ll find that people are more open to giving you a break than you might think. If you’re struggling I’d also recommend talking to an actual processional because having someone to talk things over with or getting medicated if you need it can really make a difference. I do care a lot about all of you, you give me the ability to do what I love so make sure you take care of yourselves. At the end of the day, you need to do what’s best for you, even if it inconveniences others. You can’t just go through life only saying or doing what you think other people will want from you, it’s not fair to yourself, you deserve better than that. You deserve to be happy, which is something I’m still coming to terms with.”

Pete hadn’t meant to spend so long talking about it, he wasn’t exactly a pillar of mental stability but he also knew that a lot of his audience benefited from it. While it wasn’t everyone, a major draw of the streaming world was the interconnectedness of it all. He’d gotten countless messages from viewers saying that they watched his streams when they felt like they had no one else to talk to and that he made them feel less alone and while Pete was happy to keep people company, he also worried that he wasn’t the best person to fill the role of only friend and therapist. So often he had people ask him for advice on issues that Pete couldn’t solve in his own life, nevermind someone else’s. He barely had a handle on his own issues. And if the past few weeks had taught him anything, it was that he wasn’t nearly as good of a role model as people thought he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all really aren't ready for this.
> 
> Thank you for reading! I can't believe we're already at double-digits for chapters! Rember to leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) with feedback! See you next week!


	11. Chapter 11

Pete didn’t realize that he hadn’t texted Patrick back until the next morning when his name showed up on Pete’s phone with two new messages and a missed call. He was feeling better than he had been a few days ago but still didn’t feel at all ready to deal with Patrick, but then he remembered the Patrick he’d seen when he had come to check on him. He missed when he had been able to think about Patrick without feeling the pain of his heart inevitably hurting after this ended. He wanted to be able to simply enjoy being around Patrick again but he’d ruined that chance. There wouldn’t be any coming back from this now, Pete doubted. They couldn’t be friends while this was going on and they couldn’t be friends afterwards either because the risk of people thinking they were back together or worse, realizing the whole thing was fake, would be too high. His ambition and ego had ruined his chance at happiness yet again. Like always, Pete had found something that made him happy and smothered it. He was starting to think this was just how things would be in his life, he couldn’t seem to hold onto anything that made him happy. He shook his head to make his brain focus on the here and now instead of the insane track it had put itself on.

_ Patrick: please call me back _

_ Patrick: it’s not about work, I just want to make sure you’re okay _

Pete sighed, he didn’t want to reply, he wanted to turn his phone off and pretend Patrick didn’t exist, to delete those messages and possibly Patrick’s contact altogether. A younger Pete might have but he was making an active attempt to not run away from his problems. Now granted, this didn’t go as far as telling Patrick how he felt about him, but he did manage to get himself to call him after staring at his phone for a minute.

“Pete,” Patrick breathed as soon as he picked up “you scared me for a minute,”

“Sorry,” Pete said simply “I’m alive.”

Patrick chuckled though he still sounded a bit… off “yeah, I got that. I’m glad.”

There was a moment where neither of them talked, Pete waiting for Patrick to continue to what he actually wanted to talk to him about but he didn’t and they were left both in silence. After a moment which felt like forever, Pete tired of listening to the soft sounds of Patrick breathing over the line, not because it bugged him but because it was just too casual. Pete wanted the opportunity to be able to just lay with Patrick and listen to him breathe more than anything (well, now that he thought of it, maybe not more than  _ anything _ but more than a lot of things) but not like this, so he broke the silence. “So two more streams?”

“Huh?” Patrick seemed caught off guard but wasn’t that the whole point of this conversation “oh, I mean, if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t care.” That was a lie. What wasn’t at this point?

Patrick was quiet again but he broke the silence before Pete had to this time “y’know, Pete, I’ve been thinking…” and he breathed again. Pete wanted to hang up. He didn’t want to listen to Patrick’s voice breaking because every nerve in his body was telling him to reach out and do something to comfort him, to hold him and stroke his hair and let him cry into his shoulder but he couldn’t and not just because of the physical distance. “I’ve been thinking,” Patrick said with a slightly steadier voice “clearly this is hard on both of us…” Pete’s jaw tightened but he let Patrick continue “maybe we should just end this now, or at least not stream again together. I just -” his voice broke “I-I didn’t think it would be this hard but I can’t do this… I’m sorry.”

Pete sighed and rubbed his eyes. He didn’t want to lose Patrick any sooner than he had to but he also recognized the value in cutting ties now. He’d just have to get over Patrick. “That makes sense,” he managed to get out. He couldn’t bring himself to say more.

“I could swing by tonight and we could take some photos to post when we tell people. I did some research and that seems like a pretty common way for people to announce a breakup and following other people’s lead seems like the best way to do this. Not give people an excuse to look too much more into it and all.” Pete wasn’t listening. He couldn’t care less about how it happened. At this point, he just wanted this over with. More than that, he wanted… he didn’t know. Not for it to have never happened, though, but also not for this to have been how it ended. He wanted for it to have been real.

Pete nodded and then after a moment realized that Patrick couldn’t see him “um, yeah, sure, I’ll make sure I look presentable. I’ll leave the door open.”

Patrick exhaled with an emotion that Pete couldn’t quite pin down without seeing him, maybe sadness, regret, worry… Pete wasn’t sure but he could tell something was wrong. “Thanks, Pete, I’ll see you in an hour or so.”

  
  


It turned out that Pete’s promise that he would get himself together by the time Patrick got there was another complete and utter lie because when he heard the front door open and close, he was still laying in bed, scrolling through Twitter. He put his phone down when Patrick came into the room. Patrick looked as off as he had sounded on the phone. His usual pep and seemingly ever-present smile were noticeably absent. Pete sat up and chewed his lip, waiting for Patrick to say something. 

“You should change,” Patrick eventually said, fixing his hair in the mirror the full body mirror that leaned against the wall of Pete’s bedroom “unless you want to just be in your boxers,”

Pete rubbed his neck and nodded “sure, yeah, good point.” He got up and pulled on a pair of jeans and a Metallica t-shirt before turning back to Parick. Patrick met his eyes for a moment before reaching over to brush Pete’s hair out of his eyes, he opened his mouth as if to say something but seemed to think better of it, only pulling Pete over to where he was standing in front of the mirror. He positioned Pete to sit on the edge of the unmade bed and took his phone out of his own jeans before sitting between Pete’s legs with his back against his chest. 

Pete knew enough about his role in this to not need Patrick to tell him to wrap his arms around Patrick’s waist, one hand on the inside of his thigh and the other on his stomach under his t-shirt. Patrick sighed and closed his eyes for a moment and Pete thought for a brief, hopeful second that he was going to call the whole thing off but instead he held his phone up and pulled Pete’s face closer by his chin with his other hand. As Patrick kissed him, Pete suddenly wished he’d gotten the motivation at least get up and brush his teeth that morning before this but just as soon as it had started, Patrick was standing up and checking his phone. “That’ll work. I’ll text it to you.”

Pete ground his teeth and nodded but didn’t say anything. Patrick leaned against his dresser and put his phone back into his pocket “you okay?”

Pete nodded, another lie, “just ready for this to be over.” That, for once, was at least partially accurate. He wasn’t ready for him and Patrick to be over, true, but had there ever really been a 'him and Patrick'? Maybe those first few days before everything went to shit. He was ready for feeling like this to be over, though.

“I know, I’m sorry. How does posting this Sunday work for you? We’ll do it at the same time and say that it was a mutual decision and that we’re both just too busy for a relationship so no one gets blamed. I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have.”

Pete realized that he probably should have said that Patrick hadn’t hurt him but he was tired of lying. He hadn’t done it purposely, sure, but having Patrick in his life had hurt him. He wanted to regret it because that would be easier but he couldn’t regret meeting Patrick as much as he tried to. “It’s okay, just text me the photo and let me know when to post it.”

“I will,” Patrick said, standing up “so… I guess this is the part where we say goodbye? We probably shouldn’t be seen together after this.”

Pete nodded “yeah, it’s been really nice knowing you, Patrick.” He stood up “this part sucks but… I had a lot of fun with you,”

Patrick wiped his eyes and looked away “shut up,” he laughed softly “why does it feel like you’re actually dumping me?”

“I know how you feel, but let me talk for a second. I don’t regret this, or you, I’m gonna miss you like hell.”

Patrick hugged him tightly and without warning “I’m going to miss you too, Pete. And I had fun too. You’re a really good guy.”

Pete didn’t reply then. He realized after a second that Patrick was crying from the dampness he could feel on his shoulder. He finally had the chance to comfort and hold Patrick like he wanted, he reminded himself bitterly, and that definitely didn’t help. 

Patrick sniffled and ran his fingers along Pete’s spine “you didn’t deserve any of the shit I put you through,” Patrick whispered and even though he was right next to Pete’s ear, Pete could barely hear him. Pete realized that he’d never heard Patrick play music for him. Why was he thinking about that? Why of all the things he’d been through was that the one that made Pete feel like his knees were going to give out? There were so many things he’d wanted to do with Patrick that he’d never get the chance to do now. His time with Patrick was over, so why couldn’t he let go?

“It’s fine,” Pete said shortly, if he tried to say more his voice was going to break and he wasn’t going to let himself cry yet. He knew that Patrick felt bad enough without seeing him cry. He wouldn’t put Patrick through that. He deserved better than that.

“It’s not, but thank you.” Patrick pulled himself away from Pete and his eyes were red and puffy. Patrick faked a smile “sorry for crying on you, I don’t know why I’m getting so worked up over this.”

“It’s fine,” Pete repeated. 

He waited for Patrick to hug him again or say something about their time together but instead Patrick just checked his watch “I have to get to class.”

“Oh,” Pete nodded “yeah, sorry, go ahead.”

Patrick wiped his eyes on his sleeve and kissed Pete’s cheek “thanks for hanging out with me. Bye, Pete.”

Pete didn’t realize until Patrick left that he’d been so shocked that he didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

  
  


Pete’s apartment felt strangely empty once Patrick left. Pete managed to drag himself through the shower and forced down a bowl of cereal before collapsing back into bed. He’d had times where he’d gone through worse things and had had worse reactions but that didn’t make him feel any better. He’d had far worse breakups that didn’t end mutually or had come from longer relationships and yet Pete’s brain felt like it was imploding in on itself and shutting down. 

He told himself that he’d feel better soon, he’d get through this like he had everything else. He’d keep telling himself that he’d okay over and over again until one day he was. One day he’d wake up and not think about Patrick. He’d go on a date with someone new and not wish it was Patrick. He’d see Patrick’s name in his Twitter mentions or Instagram comments and not feel his eyes well up with tears. Not today, though, today he would turn his phone off and pull the covers over his head and try and sleep so that he wouldn’t have to feel sad anymore. Tomorrow he’d have to get himself up and make himself look alive and stream like nothing was wrong and he wasn’t looking forward to that but for tonight he could wallow in his own self-pity for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd say I'm sorry but I'm kind of having a good time here.
> 
> Leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have any thoughts (or just want to yell at me for breaking your heart because I kind of deserve it lol be nice though I'm sensitive). Thanks for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning  
> You're welcome

_ After a lot of contemplation, Patrick and I have decided that it’s best for both of us to split up. This wasn’t an easy decision as Patrick is someone whom I care deeply about but we both need time to focus on ourselves and our respective careers. I feel absolutely nothing but love and respect towards Patrick so I hope that this doesn’t change how any of you see him. Neither of us want anyone to have to feel like there is a need to pick a side in this as this was a truly mutual decision. We had no drama or anything like that but unfortunately, this was just not a relationship that was destined to work out. I wish Patrick all the best with his life, I just sadly won’t be a part of it. _

Pete didn’t look back at that post often, he had a lot after he’d first posted it but after almost a year, he’d finally moved gotten to the point where he didn’t find his life practically revolving around Patrick. He wouldn’t have reread the caption at all except he’d found himself scanning through a “Top Ten Saddest Celebrity Breakups of the Year” just as something to do while he waited to check in at his hotel. The convention had the London hotel even more packed than it probably was usually during the tourist season but Pete didn’t care because he was in London with most of his trip paid for as a celebrity guest speaker at a streaming convention. In London. He couldn’t believe how far his career had come in the past year, while he hadn’t wanted to admit it at first, he couldn’t deny that a large part of that was thanks for Patrick.

“Sir?” The woman behind the front desk asked and Pete realized that it was his turn to check in.

“Oh, sorry, I have a room booked under Wentz?”

She typed his name into the system before handing him a key card “here you go. Room 416. Enjoy your stay.”

He took the card and thanked her before taking his single suitcase up to his room. He had the afternoon to himself and then tomorrow his events started. He would be pretty busy all weekend with having to run between industry events, meet and greets, and panels but he was excited regardless. He would be able to meet a lot of people who he’d only been able to interact with online, both other creators and viewers and debut some new merch that he was really excited about. As excited as he was, as soon as he opened the door to his room, all he wanted to do was get into bed and nap. He realized that was just the jet lag so instead, he decided to do some research on what else he could do around the city. 

There were the usual tourist destinations with high admission prices and long lines but a well-reviewed restaurant a few blocks away caught his eye. He sent a text to Andy who was also a presenter at the event where he would be before changing into nicer clothes and heading out. The cold air and wind reminded him of Chicago enough that it caught him off guard when he saw something uniquely European like the cars driving on the wrong side of the road. Not wrong, just different, he reminded himself as he walked. He didn’t want to be one of those tourists. He was happy to see that Andy had texted him back saying he’d be there in a minute by the time Pete got to his destination and was shown to a table. 

He was watching the cars pass out the window when he felt a hand on his shoulder “you have no idea how good it is to see you,” Andy’s distinct voice said from behind him.

Pete jumped up and hugged him tightly “god, Hurley, I can fucking imagine. How have you been, man?” He grinned, not caring if they made a scene. He hadn’t seen Andy in person in years.

They sat back down across from each other and Andy asked the usual questions after they ordered food and drinks, how was his flight, his hotel, his schedule for the weekend and then he got to the topic that Pete knew was coming. “I’m glad to see you’re doing better, I was worried about you for a while.”

Pete waved his hand casually before taking a gulp of his beer “it was a tough few weeks but it is what it is, I just wasn’t in a place for a relationship emotionally.”

Andy looked at him and hummed “I know, I wish I could have been around more for you I just… I’m sorry, I don’t have an excuse for that.”

Pete shook his head “Andy, it’s fine, I’m over it now. It was a year ago and it only lasted a few weeks anyway. The internet blew it way out of proportion.”

Andy nodded thoughtfully “yeah, I guess you’re right. Still, I’m glad you’re doing well.”

“Me too, now stop being overdramatic and avoiding the conversation we really need to be having: when are you introducing me to this girlfriend of yours?”

Andy laughed “I wanted her to come but she’s about to open a salon so she’s slammed with work. You’d love her, though. My parents want to meet her too of course so once she gets settled I’m sure we’ll be back in Chicago.”

“She seems cool, I’m glad you’re happy. Cute dogs too.”

Andy rolled his eyes “of course, always back to the dogs. What about you, got your eye on anyone?”

Pete shrugged “not really, I’ve been liking being single for a while but I wouldn’t be opposed to slowing down if I met the right person. I’m just seeing where things go for now.”

“Good for you, man, just try not to break too many hearts while we’re here,”

It was Pete’s turn to roll his eyes now. It was good having Andy around again, even if it was only for a few days.

  
  


The first day had been a blur of panels, press, and game demos, the more professional part of the convention. While he loved it, he was far more excited for tomorrow when he was doing his signings and meeting fans. He’d written out a series of letters for some of the fans he knew well and knew would be there tomorrow while at dinner that night. As he got into the elevator, he took the letters out of his bag and read over them to give him something to do.

_ yourtiredheart: thank you for your support and being so positive for every stream. I’m so glad to be able to create an environment and content that you enjoy so much. Your messages keep me motivated to keep doing this. _

_ naw2702: the positivity you share during streams always makes me smile, thank you for everything you do and for taking the time to support me. I always love reading your messages. _

_ carbonbased000: your messages are always so thoughtful and kind. You make the content I put out a better place and keep me going. Thanks for all your support. _

_ clarehelen: thank you for supporting all my projects and keeping me motivated with your kind words. I can’t wait to show you what I’m working on next. _

He looked up when the elevator doors opened a few floors below his and nearly choked on his own spit when he saw Patrick. Patrick’s smile faded when their eyes met and he muttered a quiet “I’ll call you back,” before hanging up and putting his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants.

“What floor?” Pete asked once Patrick stepped in to break the suffocating silence.

Patrick leaned against the far wall “uh,” he gestured to the button that was already lit up “same as you.”

Pete couldn’t help but chuckle coldly “this feel like a setup to anyone else?” He couldn’t help but stare at Patrick’s lips as a slight smile pulled at them.

“Cruel twist of fate,” Patrick sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. His eyes flicked back to Pete after a second “care to make the most of it?”

Pete blinked slowly “I…” he stuttered, his brain not able to process everything that had happened in the last minute “um… like, is this a booty-call?” he eventually said intelligently.

Patrick laughed “Jesus, man, yeah, I guess. You made me hang up on the guy I was inviting over so what do you say?”

Pete somehow got his thoughts together enough to nod “fuck it, yeah.”

Patrick chuckled before pulling Pete over by the buckle of his belt and kissing him. Pete grabbed his hips immediately and pushed him harder against the wall like he had to prove how free of any lingering emotions this was by getting rough with Patrick. Patrick arched into him and smiled before pushing him off as the doors opened again. Pete might have been making bad decisions but he was still aware enough to not make out with Patrick until Patrick led him to his hotel room - all bets were off once the door was closed behind them though.

Pete would admit (only to himself, of course), that he’d spent a good few months lusting over Patrick so having him pressed between him and the door felt a little like a dream. Patrick wrapped his arms around Pete’s neck and smiled against his mouth, there was a brief second where Pete could forget that Pete wasn’t just a dick appointment to Pete that he’d be kicking out in a few hours, and suddenly there was a wave of old feelings that Pete hadn’t wanted to remember. This wasn’t enough.

Pete couldn’t focus on that long, though, because Patrick was breaking the kiss to pull his t-shirt over his head. He pushed Patrick back onto the bed like it was a porno but clearly those were all pure fiction because Patrick sat up and rubbed the back of his neck “fucking - whiplash - you’re a fucking dick, you know that?”

Pete nearly laughed, after everything that had happened, it seemed funny to hear Patrick call  _ him _ a dick, but instead, he just pulled his own shirt off “you’ve got a condom, right?”

Patrick nodded and rolled onto his stomach to pull his suitcase over to the bed before pulling a condom out of the front pocket “of course. Lube’s on the dresser.” He seemed to have recovered from his neck injury, which Pete would admit he did feel a tad guilty for.

Pete grabbed the bottle and undid his jeans. Patrick eyed him and chewed his lip flirtatiously, which did make Pete feel a bit self-conscious but…

“I didn’t imagine you being this rough,” Patrick said casually, distracting Pete.

He raised an eyebrow as he kicked his jeans off “you imagined this?”

Patrick pulled him down onto the bed and shrugged “didn’t you?”

Pete felt himself blushing “I guess a bit but - we were just working together and I wanted to be respectful and-”

Patrick laughed “like I’m deserving of that, stop acting like a gentleman and fuck me. Don’t make me feel guilty about this.”

“Why would you feel guilty?”

Patrick shook his head and wiggled out of his own skin-tight jeans “I said stop, Pete.”

“Right,” Pete said, sensing that this wasn’t something Patrick was compromising on “at least tell me your safeword or anything you don’t want me to do,”

Patrick reached into Pete’s boxers and stroked him slowly, making him inhale sharply “get as rough as you want, safeword’s fallout if you go too far, I can probably take whatever you can give me though right now.”

Pete didn’t like how uncaring Patrick seemed, like he didn’t care about himself at all. He decided to not allow himself to overthink it (but it was never quite that easy, was it?) and instead leaned his head back, getting lost in the feeling of Patrick’s hand. He eventually pushed Patrick onto his back “alright, just stop me if you’re uncomfortable.”

Patrick chuckled and shifted to get on his hands and knees instead - a very impersonal position, Pete noticed - “I will, promise. Just get along with it, okay?”

Pete pursed his lips “Jesus, okay, just let me prep you first so I don’t fucking rip you open,”

Patrick rolled his eyes “very sexy image, Pete. Don’t bother, I prepped earlier, and besides, I want it to hurt.”

Pete pulled his boxers down before pulling Patrick’s briefs down to his knees. He slid one hand into Patrick’s hand and gripped tightly. Patrick sucked in a quick breath but only arched his back up more, chewing on a bottom lip which slightly curved into a smile. Pete rolled on the condom and lubed himself up as best he could with one hand before kneeling behind Patrick. If Patrick wanted Pete to hurt him, going unprepped would certainly do the trick. He pushed in slowly, not willing to go any faster for fear of really hurting Patrick. Patrick didn’t seem to mind as he sank down onto Pete’s length, groaning softly. Every sound Patrick made as Pete started to fuck him was like heaven, as was fucking Patrick. He had known Patrick would be good but… Patrick leaned down onto his arms, whining needily as Pete sped up “Pete!” He yelped as Pete tugged gently on his hair.

“Y-you good?” Pete stammered, unable to keep himself together anymore because holy shit he was fucking Patrick and Patrick was practically begging for more.

“Holy shit, yes!” Patrick whined, turning his face so he couldn’t be muffled by the pillow. He looked amazing like that “please don’t stop.”

Pete moved his hand to Patrick’s throat just to tease him, not putting any real pressure on his neck, for a second before moving it to his hip instead. He didn’t say anything in return, not sure he could get anything coherent out besides the grunts and moans he was already struggling to suppress.

He was relieved when Patrick spread his legs a bit more and pulled the pillow over his face to muffle a moan “fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” because it meant that Pete wouldn’t come embarrassingly early. He was already close. Patrick was even better than Pete had imagined, and yes, if he was being honest, he had imagined that a lot when they had been together, which made Patrick probably close to being legally considered a sex god, probably.

“Me too, Jesus,” Pete was too far gone to notice how high pitched his voice had been on that last word because Patrick had his eyes squeezed shut and his face was bright red as he came, his body contracting impossibly tight around him.

Pete followed quickly, bracing himself with one palm on the bed as he let out a loud groan. He collapsed beside Patrick, who slowly lowered his hips back onto the bed. Pete panted as he came down, watching Patrick relax beside him. If he’d been in his right mind, he might have been grossed out by the amount of cum and sweat on the bed but right now, he could barely keep his eyes open long enough to get his condom off and into the trash. He tried to watch Patrick for a while longer, but he probably didn’t make it much longer than a few minutes longer of being awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't get a cameo and you've left me comments it doesn't mean that I don't love you or that I don't appreciate you because I do it just means that I only had room for so many messages. For those of you who did, if you want your username removed just let me know and I'll change it :) I hope you enjoy them though! Y'all literally make it all worth it!
> 
> Please don't hesitate to leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings)! I love hearing from you!


	13. Chapter 13

Pete woke up alone with the room still dark but only a quick glance around allowed Pete to see Patrick sitting on the balcony railing outside. He seemed pretty stable, his ankles hooked around the bars, but it was still the sixth floor. He pulled his boxers back on before following him outside. Patrick was wearing a shower robe and a drop of water ran from Patick’s still damp hair down to his lips as he spun his head to see Pete. “God,” he breathed, “don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry,” Pete said, standing beside him “you alright?”

Patrick pursed his lips “I’m sorry,” he eventually sighed “I’m such a fucking asshole.”

Pete put one hand on Patrick’s back and looked at him “what makes you say that?”

Patrick gave him an annoyed look “don’t play dumb, Pete. I was so awful to you last year, fucking up everything for you, treating you like shit and like something I could use to get myself ahead. After I spent so long feeling guilty about that, the least I could do is not make things worse by fucking with your feelings tonight.”

Pete frowned “you’re not the villain here, Patrick,”

Patrick turned to face him “bullshit, I shouldn’t have done that shit to you,”

“Do you regret it?”

Patrick sighed “what part?” He continued when Pete didn’t answer “meeting you? No… you made me really happy for a while, and it’s selfish of me but I wouldn’t give that up, when it felt real at least. The fake part… I regret that, though. I wish I would have just asked you out for real.”

Pete replayed that in his head to make sure he heard correctly before speaking, and even then he still wasn’t sure “you would have wanted it to be real?”

“God,” Patrick laughed coldly “yeah, like I said, you made me happy.”

Pete looked over the city, he couldn’t look at Patrick while he asked the next question, he had a feeling he already knew the answer “and what about tonight? Do you regret that?”

Patrick hummed “I regret any pain it might have caused you but… you were really good so…”

Pete couldn’t help but smile “wanna do it again?” He elbowed Patrick playfully.

Patrick pushed him back gently “I don’t want to do friends with benefits, or more accurately just benefits without the friends part if history is anything to go by. But if you’re offering for a round two tonight… I could be convinced.”

Pete chewed his lip “I wanted it to be real too. You made me happy. Maybe…”

Patrick shook his head and Pete felt his heart breaking all over again “don’t ask, and not because I don’t think you’re amazing but because I just always end up hurting people and you deserve better than that.”

“Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all?” Pete asked hopefully.

Patrick laughed, warmly this time, and pulled Pete’s chin over to kiss him. Pete was surprised but didn’t pull away, instead pulling Patrick closer by his hips. “Is that a yes?” He asked, eventually pulling himself away.

“You’re so cliche, but… yeah, it’s a yes. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

Pete chuckled and kissed his cheek “anyone ever tell you that you’re melodramatic as hell? Get your ass inside before someone sees us. I want to keep this between us for a while longer.”

Patrick hopped down onto the balcony and grinned “god,  _ please _ , I never want to do that again, not that early at least. I want you to be just mine for a while.”

Pete hummed and closed the glass door and curtains behind them “well, I’m all yours for a few more hours.”

Patrick hummed and sat down on the bed “tempting… but I kind of want to turn over a new leaf here, starting by having a relationship that’s not just constant sex. I want to… actually be a good boyfriend, if that’s what we’re going to be.”

Pete was tempted to say how Pete thought that Patrick would be a great boyfriend by letting him fuck him again but he decided to keep his mouth shut. He crawled back into bed and took Patrick’s hand “I won’t say you were perfect, but neither of us were, and I know that we both did some shitty stuff but it’s… I wanted to hate you,” he sighed, because it was hard to admit, it wasn’t the person he wanted to be “I wanted to hate you so badly and blame you for everything and say that you were a bad person but I just kept thinking about the times that  _ were _ real and how amazing you made me feel.”

Patrick looked at him and smiled, squeezing his hand “I wouldn’t blame you if you were mad at me,”

“I didn’t say I was never mad - but -” he pulled Patrick down to lay next to him, wrapping his arms around him “like, when we were off-script, that part was real, and I couldn’t stop smiling, even with everything going on - and when you got my fucking address from Andy just to make sure I was okay? If you were a bad person who only cared about money, you wouldn’t have done that shit.”

Patrick shrugged and hid a slight smile with his knuckles “I guess. Don’t get all cheesy again, though.”

Pete chuckled “alright, I’ll save that for later. We need to rest before tomorrow anyway.”

Patrick yawned “yeah, you’re right, goodnight, Pete.”

“Goodnight, Patrick,” he said, smiling into Patrick’s hair. He knew this situation could get him hurt again but he couldn’t just give that up. Patrick had hurt him, but he’d also hurt Patrick, and those moments where they’d been happy… Pete wanted to rest of his life to feel like that. If he was lucky, it might.

  
  


The first thing Pete registered when he woke up was Patrick’s head tucked under his chin, his breath soft on his neck. He could feel the gentle rise and fall of Patrick’s body from where his arm was thrown over his waist. Then Pete realized that the door was opening. He sat up quickly, rising a surprised yelp from Patrick.

“Relax,” said a tired-looking man from the doorway, pushing a messy mop of curly hair out of his face before holding his palms up in surrender “I’m a friend of Patrick’s,”

Patrick sat up and rubbed his eyes “Pete, this is Joe, Joe this is-”

“I know who he is.” Joe said, tossing a cloth bag to Patrick “get yourself dressed, I got your schedule printed out in there, and water and a redbull.”

Pete yawned “we just got up, give him a second,”

“Ah,” Joe said, shooting Pete a glare “well in that case, good morning, now get up,”

Pete expected Patrick to snap at him for telling him to get up but instead Patrick just opened the Redbull and took a long gulp before dropping his shower robe that he’d slept in. Joe covered his eyes with one hand, Pete had no such courtesy, though, instead watching Patrick stretch and run his fingers through his hair. Patrick glanced back at him and rolled his eyes “creep. Seriously, get dressed. You’re going to miss your events.”

Pete sighed, but Patrick had a point, so he got dressed into his clothes from yesterday. “I’ll see you later?” He asked, pulling Patrick over with a hand on his jugular, making him grin and whine softly.

“Yeah. I’ll text you. Or just show up. I don’t care.” He said, pulling Pete down into a kiss. Pete would have loved to push Patrick back onto the bed and make out with him for a few more minutes but Joe was tapping his foot in the corner and he did have a point - they needed to get moving.

“I’ll see you tonight. Bye.” He grabbed his bag which he’d dumped by the door and headed out, still needing to shower and get ready before heading to the convention hall.

  
  


Several hours of meeting fans, signing merch, and taking photos, Pete was finally back at the hotel. He almost went back to his room and blew off Patrick, but he was walking past Patrick’s room anyway. He knocked quietly and almost left when he didn’t get a response, but after a moment, Patrick opened the door, a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. “Pete,” he said, taking his toothbrush out and wiping toothpaste off of his mouth obscenely “I was just about to shower, I’m so fucking tired, I’m afraid I won’t be too much fun tonight.”

“Thank god,” Pete laughed “me neither. Want some company?”

Patrick nodded and pulled him inside “please. Get your ass in here.”

Pete dropped his bag onto the floor again and followed Patrick into the bathroom. He didn’t try to stare as Patrick got undressed but he couldn’t help it. Even with bad posture, bags under his eyes, and messy hair, he was hotter than any porn. Pete didn’t know how long he’d last on the whole ‘just relax for the night and rest’ thing with Patrick looking like that. 

“Your turn,” Patrick said, pushing Pete’s hip gently “I deserve a show too.”

Pete rolled his eyes and undressed as Patrick got into the shower. Pete could see him relaxing under the hot water, his head tipping back to let it run through his hair and over his face. He followed him in and kissed his neck, loving the way Patrick shuddered under his touch “so… what’s the deal with you and that guy from this morning?”

Patrick chuckled and leaned back into him “why? You jealous?”

Pete smiled and grabbed the bar of soap. He felt like after so long in a crowded convention hall that he was more sweat and grime than human so getting soap and water onto his body felt like heaven. “Depends on what his deal is. Maybe a little. I don’t like to share.”

Patrick laughed and turned around to run his thumb over Pete’s jaw “he’s just a friend. Sorry he was hard on you, usually the guys he finds in bed with me don’t stick around long, y’know? No use making friends with them. He came over to make sure you hadn’t murdered me when I didn’t pick up the phone.”

“I might still, you never know,” he teased.

Patrick picked up the shampoo bottle “wow, you really like it rough.”

“I suppose I’d miss you.” There was something so personal about just watching Patrick wash his hair, personal and vulnerable. “How much longer are you staying in London?” He asked after a moment.

Patrick rubbed the extra shampoo into Pete’s hair and sighed “tomorrow morning. What about you?”

“Tomorrow night. Doubt I’ll be doing much more than sleeping, though. Especially with you gone. Might meet up with Andy if I’ve got the energy.” Patrick nodded and rested his forehead on Pete’s shoulder. Pete could tell how tired he was just from holding him. “You sore from last night?”

Patrick nodded again and relaxed further into Pete’s arms to the point where Pete was a little worried he was about to fall asleep right there “you did a number on me.”

“Sorry,” Pete mumbled, massaging conditioner into Patrick’s hair for him “I’ll be gentler in the future. I was kind of pissed off last night.”

Patrick chuckled and stepped back to return the favour for Pete “don’t you dare.” He seemed to consider that for a moment “well, maybe just a little gentler tonight, just for tonight, though.”

Pete laughed and rinsed his hair out before stepping out of the shower “I can do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gang's all here! And the boys are back together! I wonder how this will go for them?
> 
> Thank you for reading! I know this chapter is a few hours later than usual but life is really crazy rn with online university and living at home so just bear with me here. Feel free to reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) or leave me a comment! I hope you enjoyed!


	14. Chapter 14

“Do you think we’re crazy for this?” Pete asked, rolling onto his side to see Patrick.

Patrick laughed “you  _ need  _ to work on your pillow talk.”

“I’m serious,”

Patrick sighed and got up to pull his boxers back on “for sleeping together?”

“For getting back together, not that we were before… for getting together after everything that happened and just acting as if everything is fine?”

Patrick shrugged “what would you suggest we do instead?” He asked, climbing back under the covers and curling into Pete’s side.

Pete wrapped one arm around him “I didn’t say I wanted to change anything. I just mean… do you think we’re crazy?”

Patrick smiled “oh yeah, totally batshit. You’ve officially lost your mind for this.”

“I just wonder if we’re supposed to be taking things slower…” Pete sighed, starting to get annoyed with how lightly Patrick was taking this.

Patrick chuckled and propped himself up on one elbow “you act like there’s a right way to have a relationship. There’s no step-by-step guide to making things work. If you want to slow things down, we’ll slow down, but only if you want to, not because you think it’s what’s expected of you.” Pete frowned, Patrick had a point, that didn’t ease his mind, though. “You’re in your own head,” Patrick smiled fondly and ran his hand up Pete’s arm.

Pete shook his head “not really, I mean, a bit, but not as bad as it’s been before. I just don’t want to fuck up my second chance with you.”

Patrick rolled his eyes but there was nothing but warmth in his expression. There. Pete held onto that expression, that’s what he’d been looking for in Patrick. There were things he didn’t like in Patrick, sure, but he couldn’t shake how much he’d loved those moments of warmth. That’s why he’d come back, because under a very guarded exterior was a fond smile and a contagious laugh. Pete just needed to coax it out a bit more by proving to Patrick that he was worthy of expressing it. “You’re gonna keep me up all night, aren’t you?”

Pete reached down to squeeze Patrick’s ass, earning him a playful slap on the arm “I will, just in a few minutes. You can sleep on the plane.”

“That’s how you end up jetlagged,” Patrick groaned.

It was strange flying home alone after being around people pretty much all weekend. Pete had gotten a window seat near the back of the plane which was fine by him because it meant that he could pull his hood up and play Lego StarWars for the whole plane ride without anyone recognizing him. It was also strange playing games without an audience - he didn’t have to worry about being funny or playing well, though it was hard to switch those habits off. He’d be back to streaming again after he got back home and got some rest and while he did love having company, it could be frustrating. Once he got home and started working again after catching back up on sleep, things felt pretty normal again. He realized after nearly a week back home that he hadn’t even talked to Patrick, which was probably a shitty thing to do since their text conversation had left off with Patrick texting Pete to have a good flight. He texted Patrick as soon as he wrapped up his stream.

_ Sorry for not getting back to you. Things have been crazy here. I miss you. _

Patrick’s reply popped up on the top of his screen while he scrolled through restaurants to order food from for dinner.

_ Patrick: Here too. Glad to see you haven’t decided to block me. I was starting to wonder. _

_ Wouldn’t dream of it. I’ve got tomorrow off if you want to come over. _

He hoped that didn’t sound too casual. He felt bad for not getting back to Patrick. He hadn’t wanted to seem too clingy and that had divulged into genuinely forgetting. He sucked at this.

_ Patrick: tempting, but I have some Patreon work to catch back up on. I’m supposed to do a weekly vlog but I’m horrible at remembering. _

_ Alright. Let me know when you’re free, though, I feel bad for dropping off the grid a bit _

_ Patrick: it’s fine. I knew you were alive since you were still streaming. No need to break in again. _

Pete smiled and shook his head.

_ So you’ll come over if I stop again? _

_ Patrick: it wouldn’t take anything that drastic to get me over another day. I missed you too. _

  
  


Pete was watching Netflix in bed when the notification that Patrick had gone live popped up on his computer. He had refollowed Patrick the night before now that seeing the notifications didn’t feel weird anymore. He clicked on the notification and saw that Patrick was already on camera, leaning his chin on one fist as he watched his monitor. “I really liked the first game but I haven’t played any of this one. I’ll start in a few minutes once people have some time to join.” Patrick said, glancing at the camera, his lips curved into a slight smile “I’ll just hang out with chat until then.” His eyes flicked back to his monitor as he read “hey, Patrick,” he looked back at the camera and waved “hi,” he said before going back to reading “been thinking about streaming again so I don’t have to play video games alone but I’m a girl and it sucks getting hit on all the time, any advice?”

Patrick chuckled and leaned back in his chair “it does suck having people act like you’re not a person. My chat can be pretty toxic sometimes which isn’t great, luckily, I have some great mods who make sure this stays a welcoming community. The block button is your friend but yeah, some people are just dicks. I’m sorry that’s made streaming hard. I hope you make things work.”

_ “ddsammax200 donated $100” _ appeared on the top of the screen. Pete had to admit, Patrick got a lot more tips than he did. “Aw, thanks so much, Max,” Patrick said “Max asks if he can get me to show off my outfit for you guys. Of course I can,” Patrick said, standing up from his chair and taking a few steps back so that his body from the knees up were in the shot. He was wearing a Pink Floyd shirt and lounge shorts that cut off at his mid-thigh “sorry if I’m not as dressed up as you were hoping but - oh!” he balanced on one foot and pulled his other up to show up a pair of white converse with rainbow laces and soles “one of you guys sent these to my PO box which was so sweet and I love them so thank you so much.”

He sat back down and put his headphones back on “I always love your outfits,” he read off another message in his chat “you inspire me to dress more in my style no matter if other people like it or not” Patrick chuckled “glad I can help! I’m sure you look great. It’s funny, though,” he said, facing the camera a bit more “because I get all these comments saying how the way I dress and act makes people more comfortable and confident but I’m really not this confident off-camera so, like, I get people saying ‘how are you so confident all the time?’ and like, I’m not. And that’s okay. I don’t dress like this just, like, going to the store because I don’t honestly know if that’s safe - also Chicago is cold. I actually think I ran into one of you the other day -” he laughed and Pete seriously wondered how Patrick had any sort of feelings towards him because Patrick was probably one of the most gorgeous people on the planet “I was at the grocery store and the guy checking me out says ‘you kind of look like this streamer I watch” and I was like ‘oh I get that a lot’ because what do I say to that? And I then when I asked what kind of streaming they did he was like ‘oh he’s a fashion streamer named Patrick’ and so I didn’t say anything because I don’t want to accidentally out someone or anything since he had other coworkers there and all but like -” he grinned and shook his head before brushing back his hair with one hand “I don’t know, I’ve had a bunch of times where I’ve met viewers and they can’t tell if it’s me or not because I’m not dressed up or anything.”

“Do you wear whatever gets sent to your PO box?” He read before laughing again “um, it depends on what you send. I’m not trying to get banned but I’ll wear if if I like it. If you want to see stuff I can’t post on here, subscribe to my Patreon!” He gave the camera a thumbs-up before adjusting his headphones “kidding - well, kind of. I don’t do nudes so stop asking, but you can read the tier rewards on my Patreon page so if you want signed photos once a month, check those out. You can get your first month for only $2 so do check that out.”

Pete chuckled and sent a quick text to Patrick.

_ Do I get a discount for photos? _

He watched Patrick glance off-screen and grin as he texted back as subtly as he could with a webcam on him.

_ Patrick: wouldn’t you rather me just come over? _

_ I can’t have both? _

“Who are you texting?” Patrick read off the screen before sticking his tongue out teasingly “wouldn’t you guys like to know?”

_ Patrick: I’ll text you last month’s set when I get done. Stop distracting me. _

“Alright,” Patrick said, adjusting just enough in his chair to make Pete’s face heat up “I want to actually play this game. You’re very distracting.”

  
  


Pete kept Patrick’s stream on in the background while he did some work around the house. He wasn’t watching so much as just enjoying being able to hear Patrick’s voice while he put away laundry and did the dishes. They were both so busy it was nice to be able to feel like they were in some way still spending time together. He was in the middle of editing a highlights compilation to post on Youtube when Patrick wrapped up his stream and texted him. 

Pete wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting when he opened the message to a string of five photos. What he got was photos of Patrick kneeling on his bed, wearing white boyshorts, a black garter around his thigh, a yellow bomber jacket unzipped with nothing under it, and a matching yellow collar. Each photo was a digital photo of a polaroid, the last photo had Patrick’s signature scrolled over his exposed chest. Pete could see why people paid for this.

_ How much do those sell for? _

_ Patrick: $20 a month. Is that really your only reaction? _

Pete chuckled as he texted back:  _ I’d pay a lot more than that if you’d send me a few more _

_ Patrick: come be my cameraman and I’ll pay you in prints. Self-timers are a bitch to work with. _

_ Happily. Do I get anything else out of it? _

_ Patrick: I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement. Thanks for watching the stream today. It was good to hear from you. _

_ Any time _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me comments or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritigns) so that I feel validated please and thank you. Thanks for reading!  
> Also if you haven't figured it out yet, this fic is going to be pretty nsfw going forward so if you're waiting for it to get more toned down... it probably won't. I hope the rest of you enjoy.


	15. Chapter 15

Pete almost didn’t believe when his phone notified him one morning to remind Patrick happy anniversary, as he’d set it to do every month. He recounted the months in his head and then on his fingers just to be sure. It had really been six months since London. He reached over to Patrick’s sleeping form on the over side of the bed and pulled him closer again. Patrick had a habit of rolling over in his sleep meaning that Pete started every morning when he woke up before Patricl by pulling him back to the center of the bed. He liked having Patrick close.

Patrick shifted as he woke up and then smiled into his pillow. He mumbled what might have been a “good morning” but it was hard to tell.

“Hey,” Pete muttered into Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick pushed him away playfully so that he could roll over to face him “you’re up early,” he observed.

Pete shrugged “special occasion,”

He watched the cogs turn in Patrick’s tired brain for a moment before he smiled with realization “it is. What do you want to do?”

“Don’t know, whatever you want to do,” Pete lied. Not that he didn’t want to do whatever Patrick had planned, but he did really like the idea of staying in bed all day and maybe maybe fucking Patrick senseless a few times. He wasn’t picky, though.

“Well, I’ve got an exam today but I canceled my stream to visit family, so,” Patrick said, sitting up to rub his eyes.

Pete couldn’t help but run his fingers up Patrick’s spine. He’d put on a bit of weight since they’d started dating so his spine didn’t feel as exposed under his touch anymore. “Everything okay with your family?”

Patrick laughed and turned back around to straddle Pete’s hips “babe, that’s just the excuse I’m giving people, everything’s fine,”

Pete pursed his lips with a tinge of embarrassment “oh, got it, glad to hear it.”

Patrick leaned down to kiss Pete’s cheek “you’re so fucking cute. Really, though, what are we doing today?”

Pete couldn’t keep his hands off Patrick if he tried. His thumb dipped under the elastic of Patrick’s boxers (which at one point were Pete’s but had since been stolen). “Want to do dinner somewhere?”

Patrick sighed and dipped his head, his hair falling over his face “and if someone sees us?”

Pete clenched his jaw. Patrick was right. Hiding their relationship was getting harder and harder. They weren’t able to go on real dates, which Pete didn’t mind all that much since he wasn’t a fan of traditional dates as he was an introvert at heart but they really needed to spend time together somewhere that wasn’t one of their apartments. Neither of them were well-known enough that they couldn’t go out without being recognized, but it did happen once and a while, and they only had to be seen together once for people to catch on. Patrick had suggested going public with their relationship over a month ago but Pete just couldn’t bring himself to do it yet. He knew that they needed to soon, though. It would be such a relief to not have to either leave or ignore each other while the other streamed, go back home to do their own streams, and go out together. “I know, you’re right. I’m just not there yet.”

“It’s okay. I can pick up takeout after I finish my exam. I really don’t care what we do,” Patrick shifted to lay down more on top of Pete “I just want to be with you,”

Pete chuckled and kissed Patrick “you’re so fucking sappy.”

Patrick grinned and rolled off of Pete to get up “uh huh, you’re one to talk, Mr. Poetry. Breakfast?”

Pete nodded and watched Patrick leave the room. Despite it being Pete’s apartment, it seemed like Patrick owned it far more than he did. He generally made food and did a probably depressing amount of the cleaning and laundry. He spent a minute longer in bed before following Patrick out to where he was heating up the electric griddle. He came up behind Patrick and wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist, another important part of their morning routine “what’re you making?” he muttered, pressing his face into Patrick’s neck.

Patrick laughed and put one hand over Pete’s on his stomach “want a breakfast sandwich?”

Pete nipped Patrick’s ear and nodded “yeah. I’m gonna try and get a short stream in while you’re at class. You need some time to study this morning?”

Patrick sighed and leaned back against Pete as he pulled bread over “would you mind? Just an hour would be awesome,”

“Of course I don’t mind. I’ll get some work done in the streaming room if you want the rest of the place.”

Patrick tilted his head back onto Pete’s shoulder to smile at him. Not that Pete felt that he needed to be thanked or rewarded for something so basic, but that smile was reward enough. “You wanna get me a coffee, babe?” Patrick asked, a slight teasing pout hanging on his lips. Pete had expected that he’d get used to how unbearably sexy Patrick was, he hadn’t. Patrick still took his breath away routinely.

“Yeah,” he muttered, letting go of Patrick to hit the brew button on the coffee machine “what time is your exam?”

“Six to seven. Should be home by seven thirty. Oh, and, Pete? Are we doing gifts?”

Pete really hoped the answer was yes because he’d already been planning what he would give Patrick for close to a month now “well if you insist on giving it away, I picked something up, yeah.”

“Alright,” Patrick smiled “good because I got you something too.”

  
  


Pete was working on a new line of merch with headphones on when he felt Patrick’s hands on his shoulders. He jumped a bit as his music had blocked out the sound of Patrick entering the room. “Hey,” he breathed, spinning his chair around to see Patrick “study break?”

Patrick shook his head “finished up, it’s not that hard.”

Pete took his headphones off and patted his thighs, to which Patrick rolled his eyes but climbed onto Pete’s lap anyway “what class is it anyway?”

“Advanced music theory,” Patrick scoffed.

“You’re so fucking smart.” He muttered, running his hands up Patrick’s thighs before grabbing his ass with both hands.

Patrick inhaled sharply and shifted in Pete’s lap “Pete, please,” he whispered, shaking his head “you’re…”

Pete moved his hands back to the arms of his chair “I’m what?”

Patrick rolled his eyes “you just are. Want to come watch an episode of Criminal Minds before I have to go to class?”

Pete couldn’t resist that offer, following Patrick back into the bedroom once he got back up “that doesn’t even make sense,”

Patrick turned around to face him before falling back onto Pete’s bed “oh, trust me, it makes perfect sense.”

Pete kneeled down on the bed next to Patrick and picked up the remote from his nightstand “do you actually want to watch an episode or did you just want background noise?”

Patrick nodded “I just want to cuddle right now.”

Pete might have been disappointed if he didn’t love any form of physical attention from Patrick so much. He’d almost take Patrick curled up beside him over sex. He had decided that the highlight of his day was feeling Patrick falling asleep against him. He laid down beside Patrick and kissed his cheek “want me to set an alarm in case we fall asleep?”

Patrick’s eyes were already closed as he wiggled closer to Pete “please.”

Pete pulled out his phone to set an alarm for an hour from then before dropping it so that he could stroke Patrick’s hair. As selfish as it was, he partially wished that Patrick would decide to skip this exam so he wouldn’t have to lose him for even a second. “Everything okay?” He asked. Patrick felt… fragile. Like he was trying to hold himself together.

“Yeah,” Patrick nodded “just in my own head today, sorry.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Patrick sighed and tucked his head under Pete’s chin “my ex texted me and it’s just got me kind of freaked out,”

Pete chewed his lip “did he threaten you or something?”

Patrick shook his head “fuck, no, nothing like that, don’t worry,” he pressed his ace into Pete’s collar before taking his phone out, unlocking it, and handing it to Pete. Pete went to the messages app and read the most recent one.

_ Hey Patrick, it’s Max. I’ve been trying to find the words to say here for forever (like two years, oops) but I just saw something about you on Twitter and realized that you’re still doing the same stuff you were then. I really tried to help you get out of that lifestyle since I know under that you’re a pretty chill and cool guy but I wasn’t able to help you. I hope that you’ll get out before you get yourself hurt, there’s a lot of creepy people on the internet who probably want to hurt you. If you ever get out and want to try again, let me know, but I still can’t be with someone who puts themselves in as much danger as you do and has that little self-respect. I hope you’re safe and that you come to your senses soon. _

Pete sighed and kissed Patrick’s hair “he’s an asshole,” he muttered.

“I know,” Patrick sighed “I just also… I don’t know, I’m just freaking myself out,”

“About getting hurt?” Pete wanted to promise Patrick that he’d keep him safe but he knew that Patrick didn’t want a solution right now, he just wanted to be listened to. Pete’s first instinct was always to try and fix things for everyone but this wasn’t something he could fix, the best he could do was hold Patrick and let him vent.

“I mean - partially, but more so - and I know you’re not but I’m just freaked out that people are only in my life to try and sleep with me or fix me. I’m so fucking scared that no one actually likes me, they just like the idea of me that they created by picking and choosing the parts they like.”

Pete stroked Patrick’s hair and swallowed, he knew that he was far better than Patrick’s ex but… he wasn’t perfect either. He had been hanging on so tightly to certain parts of Patrick’s personality that he loved and merely tolerating the rest for so long. As he thought over the parts that he had once only tolerated, though - primarily his attitude and the times when he snapped at Pete - he realized that he couldn’t imagine him any other way. Nor did he want it. Two years ago he’d fallen for a version of Patrick that he’d created, one where he was a sweet and innocent victim in need of protection, but since then he’d fallen in love with Patrick as a whole - he was in love with the way he smiled and his laugh but also when he was stressed and snapped at people or anxious and he isolated himself. Pete wouldn't tolerate that from anyone else, it would be too much work, but Patrick was always worth waiting out those moments. Patrick was worth more than Pete could ever give him, in his opinion. He didn’t know how to say any of that without freaking Patrick out, though, so instead he just held him and stroked his hair until the alarm when off beside them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know this is being posted later than usual tonight but I'm so busy right now with online classes. Remember to comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings) so that I feel validated!


	16. Chapter 16

Pete turned his stream off (and double-checked that everything was off, he didn’t want to be put on one of those “embarrassing stream fails” compilations) seconds before Patrick knocked on the door. “Coming, hold on,” he said as he walked back into the living room to let Patrick in.

“Hey,” Patrick said, stepping inside once Pete opened the door, a pizza box under his arm “how was your stream?”

Pete shrugged and slipped Patrick’s raincoat off his shoulders to hang it by the door “fine, how was your exam?”

Patrick glanced back at him, already grabbing a slice of pizza from the box that he’d set on the table “boring but I think it went alright.”

Pete leaned against the table and pulled Patrick over by his shirt collar just to have him close enough to touch “how are you feeling?”

Patrick shook his head “better. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I realized -” he chuckled softly “during my exam, of course, that I’m so freaked out because I’ve never had a relationship this good before, and it’s easier to push you away than let things go farther,”

Pete probably shouldn’t have been happy to hear that but he was. He pulled Patrick closer and kissed him “well, I’m glad to hear you don’t hate me.”

Patrick smiled and ran his thumb over Pete’s jaw “no, I - I  _ really  _ like you. And that’s scary because it’s going to kill me if you don’t feel the same.”

Pete ran his fingers through Patrick’s hair “I do, you don’t need to worry about that - and I know that doesn’t fix it but it’s true, and I don’t know how else to prove it to you.”

Pete smiled and kissed him. Pete wasn’t sure what he’d done differently this time but Patrick felt better now. “I have something for you,” he smiled against Pete’s lips.

Pete whined softly as Patrick backed off to look through his bag which he’d dropped at the door. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He subtly (or at least he hoped that it was subtle) felt for the key he’d been keeping in the pocket of his sweatpants as he watched Patrick take a box out of his backpack. “I suck at gifts so you probably deserve way better than this but,” Patrick took out a bottle of champagne and set it on the table next to the pizza box “I figured we both need to relax,”

Pete grinned and kissed Patrick’s cheek “you’re sweet. Let me go get some glasses.”

  
  


Patrick leaned back against the headboard of Pete’s bed and reached over to rub Pete’s thigh “sorry I couldn’t give you the perfect anniversary,”

Pete glanced over and smiled, taking another sip of champagne “don’t worry about that. I’m just glad you’re okay. There’ll be more.”

Patrick chuckled and closed his eyes “you’re so fucking cute. Hey,” he opened his eyes and smiled “can I blow you?”

Pete chuckled “tempting, but you’re drunk,”

“I’m  _ tipsy _ ,” Patrick scoffed “and besides, you’re just as bad as I am,”

Pete squeezed Patrick’s hand and hummed “you’re sure you’re good?”

Patrick moved the pizza box and his champagne glass onto the bedside table “I’m fine, I’ve had half a glass. I’m not as much of a lightweight as you think. Though, I respect your self-control,”

“One condition,” Pete muttered, pulling Patrick onto his lap.

Patrick grinned and leaned back, subtly shifting his hips “and what’s that?”

“You let me fuck you instead so that I can get you off too,”

Patrick sighed melodramatically as he pulled his shirt over his head “I suppose I could live with that,”

Pete rolled his eyes “you’re such a brat,”

Patrick raised an eyebrow “and what are you going to do about it?”

Pete opened the drawer of his bedside table “your pick,”

Patrick pulled out a pair of handcuffs before rolling onto his back “no promises it’ll shut me up, though,”

Pete brought Patrick’s hands above his head and cuffed him to the headboard “I don’t want you to be quiet, though,”

Patrick whined and pulled at his restraints “c’mon, gag me, it’ll be fun,”

Pete scoffed and took a ball gag out of the drawer as well, playfully prying Patrick’s jaw open despite his protests “tell me you’re okay with this,” he muttered as he clasped the gag behind Patrick’s head.

Patrick nodded. They’d done this before. Pete knew how to tell when Patrick was uncomfortable, even without his hands or voice, that didn’t stop him from checking in routinely, though.

“Alright, shake your head if you need to tap out, though,”

Patrick whined softly and nodded, pulling again at his cuffs. Pete got the message. Patrick never was patient in bed. Luckily, Pete was happy using that to his advantage to tease him for a while now that he couldn’t do anything about it. He pulled Patrick’s pants down before reaching for the bottle of lube. It was going to be a very good anniversary.

Pete spent close to fifteen minutes edging Pete with his fingers before Patrick’s whines had gotten desperate to the point where Pete was worried he was going to break him. As soon as Pete got back inside him, though, his desperate whimpers turned to satisfied moans. Fucking Patrick was second nature by now, but it still never got old. Neither of them lasted long after that. 

Pete took Patrick’s gag off before he even pulled out and got his condom off. “Fuck,” Patrick breathed, a blissed-out smile spreading across his lips “we need to do that more often,”

Pete collapsed beside him and took a moment to stroke back Patrick’s sweat-soaked hair before undoing his cuffs as well “like fucking you doesn’t already take up most of my time as is,”

Patrick breathed out a laugh, still panting hard “you’re really complaining about that?”

Pete shook his head and tried to calm his own breathing “god,” he curled closer to Patrick “no, never,”

Patrick closed his eyes and ran his fingers along Pete’s shoulder and down his arm “good, me neither.” Pete felt himself falling asleep before Pete drummed his fingers along his collarbone “we’ve gotta shower, baby. We can rinse off and then take a bath and we can make out for a while.”

Pete nodded and pulled himself into a sitting position “alright, good, yeah,”

Patrick smiled and sat up to kiss Pete “you’re so hot…”

Pete chuckled and pulled Patrick closer by his hips “shut up, or do I have to gag you again?”

Patrick shrugged slyly “I’m up for a round two if you are,”

Pete rolled his eyes before standing up on still unstable legs. He grabbed the bottle of champagne and the key out of his sweatpants before leading Patrick into the bathroom.

  
  


Patrick sighed as he sank down into the bath, leaning back against Pete’s chest and his head back on Pete’s shoulder “thank you for tonight,”

Pete smiled and kissed Patrick’s neck before taking a drink straight from the bottle “no, thank you,”

Patrick chuckled and took the bottle from him. Once Patrick finished swallowing and closed his eyes, Pete cleared his throat “I got you something too,”

Patrick opened his eyes again and smiled “oh yeah?”

Pete reached under the towel where he’d hidden the key before holding it out to Patrick. His eyes widened and he sat up to look at Pete “wait, really?”

Pete nodded and sat up as well “yeah, you don’t have to move in if you don’t want to, but I figure you shouldn’t have to be let in whenever you visit.”

Patrick grinned and took the key before kissing him hard enough to knock Pete back against the edge of the tub, almost sending them both sliding under the water until Pete caught him with his leg. He smiled against Patrick’s lips and ran his hands up and down Patrick’s sides until Patrick broke away for air “thank you,” he breathed, still grinning.

Pete smiled and pulled Patrick’s chin closer again until he could kiss him “of course. Happy anniversary, angel,”

“Happy anniversary, Pete.” Patrick sighed happily, relaxing back down again, arms wrapped around his torso. “You can do whatever you want to me tonight after pulling a stunt like that,”

“Hey,” Pete sighed “that’s not how this works…”

“Let me rephrase,” Patrick chuckled “I want you to do whatever you want to me tonight and this has reminded me of that,”

“Much better, I’ve got something else for you too,”

“Oh my god…” Patrick groaned “you’re not serious, are you?”

Pete nodded “it’s nothing big, I just realized something,”

“What’s that?” Patrick asked, looking at Pete curiously.

Pete breathed and looked up at the ceiling. He was sure that Patrick could feel his heart pounding with how close they were. He was sure that he’d be able to feel it if he was ten feet away. “I’m tired of hiding. I want to let people know. I’ve got a post drafted and everything, or we can do it on stream, I don’t care, I just want to be able to give you everything you deserve,”

Patrick didn’t reply, just kissed Pete again with an equal amount of force from before, but this time they slipped enough to both go under the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rewrote this chapter so many times but I'm finally really happy with it. Remember to leave me a comment or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwirings) if you have anything at all to say, even if it's already been said. Your comments always make my day and keep me motivated to keep posting. See you next week!


	17. Chapter 17

“So how do you want to do this?”

Pete groaned and turned his head, glancing up at Patrick who was straddling his hips and rubbing his back “please do not talk about work right now, I just woke up,”

Patrick smiled and leaned down to kiss the back of Pete’s neck “sorry. I’m just excited.”

Pete closed his eyes again and stretched his arms above his head “want to jump on stream with me? We can make a post later.”

Patrick shifted to lay beside Pete instead now that he was awake “you sure you still want to do this?”

Pete nodded “I’d be stupid not to show you off.” He opened his eyes to catch Patrick roll his.

“Very charming. Breakfast?”

“We’re out of bread, milk too I think,” Pete said, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Fantastic. I’ll run out and grab some.”

“Or,” Pete kissed Patrick’s cheek “IHOP delivers,”

Patrick smiled sleepily “my dad used to take me there for my birthdays, and we’d get - you know those pancakes with the face made out of fruit and whipped cream?”

Pete smiled and watched him “I remember. You want me to order?”

“Strawberry pancakes, side of hashbrowns.” Patrick mumbled before rolling back over onto his side.

“Got it. Want me to bring you coffee too?”

“Oh god, please.”

  
  


Pete clasped his hands in front of his face and closed his eyes, exhaling softly. The webcam was set up and the stream was set on a waiting screen, all there was left to do was connect the camera and the mic. Patrick was sitting beside him, his own stream set up and waiting as well. Once the cameras came on, it would show them both sitting on Pete’s couch. Patrick leaned over and kissed his temple “we don’t have to do this,”

Pete shook his head “no, it’s fine, it’s just a big thing is all. No putting the cat back in the bag, you know?”

“I know.” Patrick leaned his head against Pete’s shoulder “I know.”

Pete looked up at the ceiling before nodding. “Okay, I’m ready.”

Patrick nodded and sat back up as Pete leaned over to his laptop to change the stream name from “chatting” to “meet my boyfriend.” Patrick did the same on his own tablet. They connected the webcams which had been attached to the table in front of them at the same time.

“Hey,” Pete said into the webcam before laughing nervously “so… secret’s out.”   
  


Patrick took his hand and pulled him closer, looking at him instead of the cameras “secret’s out.” His eyes flicked back to the camera “I’m sure a lot of you have questions and we’ll get to them but we also want to do a better job at protecting our privacy this time.”

Pete squeezed his hand “one of the reasons why things fell apart last year was because we were so public. We’re together but that doesn’t mean we…” he chuckled “here for your consumption, if you pardon how dramatic that sounds.”

Patrick rolled his eyes “you’re all a part of our lives and we love having you here but we also need to look after ourselves and our relationship,”

Pete leaned over to check his chat while Patrick spoke.

_ Pinch me I’m dreaming _

_ My favourite couple of all time is back together and I’m not okay _

_ I’m so sorry that people pried so much that it drove a wedge between you two _

_ So happy you’re getting a second chance _

_ Is this a joke or something? _

_ I’m crying love really isn’t dead _

_ Do you think they’ve been together this whole time or? _

_ Some of you aren’t listening to what they’re saying and it shows _

_ You’re both so cute together I’m glad you’re happy _

“We will answer some questions, though, because I’m sure you’ll crucify us if we just leave you at this.” Pete said “so you can leave your questions in the chat,”

Patrick pulled Pete’s hand between his knees before reaching over to stroke Pete’s hair “to get the basics out of the way… We got back together while we were in London. We both realized that we had been really happy together before the stress of everything else got too high. We’re both in better places now than we were a year ago, though, so we wanted to try again.”

Pete scanned the chat for questions, most were too invasive for them to answer yet. They weren’t disrespectful, but they’d both decided that they were public figures but their relationship would stay private. They wouldn’t share every element about their time together, or have their only time together be on stream. “To answer how often we’ll stream together… honestly, probably not very often. It’s important for both of us that our relationship doesn’t become something that’s done…”

“More for show than for us,” Patrick completed “it was hard last year, we got so busy that the only time we had together was on stream. We’d want to spend time together alone but because we felt like we needed to stream together, it was hard. We found at the end that we weren’t really dating any more we…” he trailed off and cleared his throat “we don’t want to lie to you by forcing anything that isn’t there again, and we can’t do that to ourselves. We’ll still do things together but probably just not live, probably more stuff going up on social media where we can decide how much is shared more easily.”

Pete glanced back at him and smiled “Patrick will also still be doing his vlogs on his Patreon,”

“The link to which is in all of my socials,” Patrick smiled back.

_ Did you ever have any close-calls like last time? _

_ I’ll miss seeing you together but I also understand _

_ So we have to pay extra to see them together now? That’s kind of exploitive isn’t it? _

_ Having some time for yourselves makes sense. I look forward to seeing you stream together when you do though _

_ How have you kept this a secret for so long? _

_ I haven’t seen Patrick since they broke up holy shit he looks so good _

_ What does Patrick actually post on his Patreon? _

_ It’s really invasive to expect them to post every detail of their lives _

_ It makes sense that Patrick would be more open to sharing stuff with a smaller group of people _

_ Are you living together? _

“To answer how we’ve hid our relationship, it hasn’t been too difficult. We’re around each other enough to know our schedules and we’re not living together so we have our time apart, which has been helpful.”

“Now that things are public we might drop into each other's streams once and a while more than scheduled streams together. Having time off camera is important for both of our sakes.”

_ That’s going to be so cute _

_ Not to be that person but look at how Patrick is holding Pete’s hand _

_ I’m glad you’ve felt comfortable enough to share this now _

_ I think we’ve grown enough as a community to be more respectful now _

_ If they didn’t want people caring about them off stream they shouldn’t have gone on stream _

_ Is there anything we can do to be better? _

_ Tuning in late, PLEASE tell me that you’re recording this so I can watch the whole thing _

_ Seeing you two so happy together got me through rough times, I’m sure it will do the same for other people too now _

_ Patrick’s Patreon is mainly vlogs and signed photos, they’re pretty fun to watch _

“We wanted to do a stream to let you guys know what was happening, but I’m afraid it won’t be as long as others. We’ll talk more on later streams.” Pete said, leaning back.   
  


Patrick leaned over and kissed Pete’s cheek “I’m going to hop off now and go take a nap,”

“And I am going to visit some people in chat on Animal Crossing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I'm really busy. I'll be done with school soon though. Please leave comments and kudos they bring me joy or reach out to me on tumblr (lupinwritings)


	18. Chapter 18

“How do all of you have such cute villagers? Chops won’t even move out no matter how many times I-” Pete jumped as Patrick put a hand on his shoulder mid-stream. He wasn’t used to having someone else around and on camera with him. He looked up at Patrick standing behind him and smiled “hey,” he took his headphones off and moved the mic back “what’s up?”

Patrick leaned down to kiss his cheek and mutter “I’m gonna order dinner, what do you want?”

“Anything, I’ll wrap up in a few minutes,”

“Perfect,” Patrick glanced at the camera and waved before standing back up and walking off-frame to order dinner in the arm chair beside the couch.

Pete put his headphones back on and moved his mic closer “this is going to be my last island because I need to get dinner but this has been fun, thank you for hanging out with me today and for all the support. And don’t worry, the first part of the stream will go up on my youtube and socials if you missed it,”

Once Pete turned off his setup, Patrick moved over to lean against him. Pete took his headphones off and wrapped an arm around Patrick “how’re you doing?”

Patrick shrugged but he was smiling “good, my Patreon numbers went way up,”

Pete chuckled “I mean emotionally,”

Patrick leaned his head on Pete’s shoulder and hummed “still good, it felt like the right time. What about you?”

“I’m glad I got the balls to finally do it, it’s nice to not be paranoid all the time. Have you been online since?”

Patrick nodded “same sort of stuff, people are taking it well from what I’ve seen. A couple of mine are mad that it throws off their fantasy but who cares,”

Pete kissed him and chuckled “because if you were single you’d probably go out with them instead, right?”

“Oh definitely. Obviously you’re a simp for dating me, just so you know,”

“Of course, much more than they are for paying to pretend to date you,”

“Please don’t make fun of people for that, I need that income,”

Pete chuckled “speaking of which, when are you doing this month’s stuff?”

Patrick sighed and closed his eyes “later, not tonight,”

Pete pulled Patrick onto his lap “that’s fine, just let me know if you need help,”

“I don’t know what I’m doing yet, probably just an updated routine now that I don’t have to pretend you’re not around. I don’t know for photos, though,” Patrick’s hands came to rest on Pete’s shoulders “got any ideas?”

“Lots,” Pete winked playfully “none that you’ll like, though,”

“Pete!” Patrick whined before hitting his chest “why do I bother asking you?”

“Because you love me?” Pete asked without thinking that he had no idea how Patrick was going to answer that.

Patrick just rolled his eyes, which was probably the best answer he could give considering the alternative where he said no and Pete had to live with that weight - it was one thing to think it and another way to hear it directly. “But I am open to ideas if you have them,”

“You could do a contest on Patreon or ask over socials for ideas or something,”

“Yeah, I guess, the answers would be entertaining at least. Last time I did that I got some… interesting answers,”

“Or you could just let me take photos of you like usual,”

Patrick raised an eyebrow “people wouldn’t pay to see me just as is,”

“Are you serious?” Pete squeezed Patrick’s hip “you’re crazy hot all the time.”

Patrick sighed and shrugged “yeah, I guess, but I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who’d pay for them,”

“I doubt that, make a poll, if people say they’d pay for it, you let me take pervy photos of you all week,”

“And if I win?” Patrick asked.

Pete shrugged “you pay when we go out on an actual date?”

“Deal,” Pete smiled, deciding to leave out the fact that he was planning on paying regardless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter (sorry) but things have been crazy for me. Things should be better next week and the next chapter will likely be longer to make up for it. Leave me a comment or reach out to me on Tumblr (lupinwritings), it keeps me motivated!


	19. Chapter 19

“Sixty-eight,” Pete read as Patrick stepped out of the bathroom, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

“Huh?” Patrick mumbled.

“I’m winning sixty-eight to thirty-two on your twitter poll,”

Patrick leaned back into the bathroom to spit and set his toothbrush back in the cup “huh,” he remarked before joining Pete back on the bed “we won’t know for sure until it ends tomorrow night, though,”

Pete rolled his eyes and moved his laptop aside so Patrick could slide close to him “oh come on, we know,”

Patrick glared at him but a smile was tugging at the corner of his mouth “don’t start, you said we both have 24 hours, don’t start changing the rules now that you’re winning,”

Pete kissed his forehead “you’re spending the night I assume,”

Patrick laughed “how’d you figure? I should go back home at some point but…”

Pete watched him sink back down until his head was on the pillow “or…” he said quietly, his heart in his throat “you could not…”

Patrick pushed Pete’s knee gently before reaching up to tug on his shoulder until he laid down beside him “wait until my lease is up and then we’ll talk.”

“I’ll take that,” Pete chuckled, moving his laptop onto the bedside table and turning off the lights.

Pete felt Patrick’s body relax as he fell asleep after a while but his own mind still felt restless. He took out his phone to check his instagram but instead saw a text from Andy.

_ Andy: I was out while you were streaming so I missed it (figured the title was clickbait) but I’m happy for you guys. You seem like you’re in a better place, I hope that’s accurate. Text me back? We should catch up. _

_ Andy: assuming you still have your usual nocturnal sleep schedule and are awake. _

Pete smiled as he texted back, one arm still trapped under Patrick’s sleeping form.

_ Everything is good here. Patrick and I have been together for a while and things are much better this time. If I’m being honest, the last time was more for our audience than for us but this time we’re taking a step back and putting ourselves first. How are things with you? _

_ Andy: glad to hear it, odd to think you’ve been together since we last saw each other. Guess that just means I’ll have to visit soon. _

_ You definitely will. Do me a favour and vote yes on his twitter poll, I need to win a bet. _

A moment passed and Pete almost put his phone down before the notification came back up. _   
  
_

_ Andy: done ;) _

  
  


Pete was surprised to wake up to an empty bed and even more surprised when he realized Patrick wasn’t seemingly anywhere else in the apartment. He had probably just needed to run home to grab something or get some work done, but that didn’t resolve the anxiety in his mind that something was off. He almost always found Patrick awake before him but still in bed. Before he realized that Patrick was reachable by phone, the door opened behind him.

“Damnit,” Patrick’s voice muttered from behind him. Pete spun around to see Patrick holding a bag of groceries “I was hoping to surprise you,”

“Where were you?” Pere asked, hoping he didn’t sound too controlling or paranoid.

Patrick kicked the door shut and pulled a loaf of bread out of the paper bag “figured since I’m around all the time, I should start merging the schedules, my usual bakery isn’t far. I got jam and fruit too.”

Pete exhaled and pulled Patrick closer by the collar of his t-shirt to kiss him“of course you did, I shouldn’t have worried,”

Patrick smiled as he set his purchases down on the table “aw, you were worried about me? That’s cute.”

Pete rolled his eyes “knock it off, I’m tired,”

Patrick wrapped his arms around Pete’s neck, chewing on his bottom lip teasingly “didn’t mean to worry you, don’t get all macho on me now. It’s sweet that you wanted to know I was safe. I promise I can look after myself, though,”

“I know you can,” Pete replied, setting one hand on the small of Patrick’s back while reaching for a bread knife off the counter with the other “that’s what makes it embarrassing, I know I didn’t have any reason to be worried but-”

Patrick cut him off with a kiss before taking the knife and cutting the loaf into slides “it’s fine. You sleep alright?”

“Uh-huh,” Pete said, letting the subject drop as his mild panic wore off “slept great knowing that you’ll be paying for our first date,”

“Holy smokes,” Patrick breathed, smiling “sure you want to be so cocky? Your numbers are down from last night,”

“Really?” Pete quickly took out his phone and opened twitter “oh come on, by  _ three _ points, I’m still way ahead,”

“Slow and steady wins the race,”

“Not this time. People’s desire to see you in your underwear outweighs that argument,”

Patrick rolled his eyes before handing Pete a piece of bread with strawberry jam spread across it “we’ll see, I suppose.”

Pete took it and sat down “how long are you staying?”

“I have class at eleven, so I’ll need to head home and get my stuff before then, so not too long, I’m afraid,” Patrick mused as he sat down at the table with him.

“Shame, streaming tonight?”

Patrick nodded around a mouthful of bread before swallowing “that’s the plan,”

“Same, shame I won’t be able to catch yours,”

“You could come over once you wrap up,”

“Or you could come back here?” Pete countered.

“What’s wrong with my apartment?”

“My bed’s comfier?” Pete tried, smiling.

“Bullshit, my bed is great, shame I never get to use it anymore. Face it, you just don’t want to have to take the train over.”

“Caught me,” Pete nudged Patrick’s knee with his own “also my bed’s comfier,” Patrick opened his mouth to protest but Pete cut him off “should we get a pet?”

“What?” Patrick laughed.

“I’m serious,” Pete continued, though he wasn’t sure where the idea had come from “since we can’t decide which apartment is better, why not just fine a new one? One that’s pet friendly. You’re a dog person, right?”

Patrick shook his head and held up one hand “Pete, back up,  _ what _ ? Is now really the time to be making huge decisions like this?”

“What do you mean? I know I want to be around you and I know you feel the same because you’re pretty much always here, so why not? I love you,” he said without realizing he had until it was too late. He’d meant to wait, to say it when the moment was perfect and romantic but he didn’t have time to think it over too much because then Patrick was laughing.

“Sorry, I just -” Patrick started “I don’t mean to laugh but - I love you too, so fuck it, let me finish my lease and this semester and then let’s go apartment hunting - and get a dog too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I said that this was going to be a long story, I had no idea it was going to be THIS long but I'm really happy with it and so pleased that so many of you have been reading the whole thing. I'm done with my exams so I'll have longer chapters again too so yay for that. Leave me a comment or reach out to me on Tumblr (lupinwritings) with feedback, thoughts, questions, or rants! I love to hear from you all!


	20. Chapter 20

“Don’t start,” Patrick laughed as soon as he picked up the phone “I saw,”

“78%, so that means…” Pete teased in return.

“Shut up. I’ll hang up on you.”

Pete faked a gasp “you wouldn’t dare,”

“You’re so melodramatic.”

“Now you’re just being rude. When are you coming back over? I’d like to get started on this project, not so say that my camera roll isn’t already filled with pictures of you,”

“Huh?”

“Nothing!” Pete chimed.

Patrick chuckled “I suppose I could make it over… not tomorrow but the next day? I promised Joe I’d have lunch with him tomorrow.”

“He still hate me?”

“He doesn’t hate you, Pete, he just didn’t understand the situation. Hell, neither did I at the time, if I’m being honest,”

“Fair, I’d like for your friends to like me, though,”

“He does. What about your friends, huh? I thought you wanted to show me off?”

Pete stretched out on the couch “well, the only friend who I talk to frequently lives on the west coast so… my family wants to meet you, though.”

Patrick groaned, making Pete raise an eyebrow “sorry,” Patrick said after a few seconds of silence “just - I’m not really the kind of person you take home to your parents, you know? Doesn’t usually go well.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Patrick, they’ll love you,”

“We’ll see. And if they google me?”

Pete frowned “I don’t think they’ll care as much as you think they will… they’ve seen me do a lot worse than date a really sweet and amazing guy that has a career they’re unfamiliar with,”

“Yeah? Like what?” Patrick asked, sounding suddenly more interested.

Pete laughed “drop out of college to play video games full time for starters,”

“That’ll do it.”

“What about your family? How’d they take everything?”

Patrick exhaled “they’re Catholic, so… better than I thought they would but not great.”

Pete pursed his lips “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay, they were alright with me coming out, which was good, they’re just not thrilled about me selling photos to people I don’t know. They’re… concerned.”

“I miss you,” Pete said out of the blue because this wasn’t the sort of conversation to be having over the phone.

“I miss you too,” Patrick laughed before falling silent again.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good. It’s kind of weird being alone now, you know?”

“I know. You should come back over, I’ll pay for your Uber if you want,” Pete offered.

“Tempting, but I’ve got a paper due soon so I should focus on that. You’re very distracting.”

Pete was a bit disappointed but knew that he also needed to get work done “alright, do you need to get back to that?”

“Probably…” Patrick sighed “I’ll see you later,”

“Love you,”

“I love you too, bye.”

  
  


Pete was surprised to see that it wasn’t Patrick who let him in but Joe. “Hey,” he said, “I’ll be out of here in a minute, I’m just-”

Patrick walked out of his streaming room “Joe’s just helping me with making some changes to my Patreon tiers without changing prices by accident”

“No worries,” Pete said as he side-stepped past Joe to get into the apartment “good to see you again, man, sorry we got off on the wrong foot,”

“Me too,” Joe said, extending his hand for Pete to shake “you’re a better guy than I thought so I’m sorry for misjudging you,”

“You too,” Pete said as he shook Joe’s hand “nice to have made up before the wedding,”

“What?” Joe said, looking to Patrick.

“He’s kidding,” Patrick scolded, slapping Pete’s hand “Joe, you’re welcome to hang around, but-”

Joe chuckled and shook his head “I’m just fine not seeing your ass any more than I already have today, thank you very much. Enjoy your porn shoot,” he joked.

Patrick rolled his eyes “thanks for the help. See you later.”

“See you,” Joe said before leaving the apartment.

“See?” Patrick said once Joe closed the door behind him “told you he didn’t hate you,”

Pete hummed “he seems nice,”

Patrick kissed Pete’s cheek “he is. Now,” he pulled off his t-shirt “how do you want to do this?”

Pete had to remind himself that they didn’t have time for him to be getting distracted “I’ll go grab your camera and you just… do whatever you usually do.”

Patrick chuckled and leaned against the counter “it’s weird not being able to plan this at all.”

Pete took Patrick’s camera down from the shelf and took off the lens cover, holding it up to hie eye to check the focus “I’ll just keep the camera with me for the next 24 hours or so. Figured that should give a POV of dating you,”

“Sounds so fucking creepy when you say it like that,” Patrick laughed “alright. You promise you don’t mind me sort of ignoring you for a while?”

“That’s sort of the idea. Pretend I’m not here,” he said, looking up at Patrick and smiling.

Patrick cracked his neck and nodded “got it. Well, I guess I’ll go throw something on a set the stream up. Make yourself at home.”

It was strange seeing Patrick from this side of the stream. They’d previously stayed away from each other’s streaming rooms while they were live to reduce the chances of any stream accidents but there was no harm in it now. Pete settled down with his phone, earbuds, and a camera on the chair he’d pulled into the room to watch Netflix while Patrick streamed.

Despite having a movie pulled up on his phone, he found himself far more interested in watching Patrick once he started streaming.

“Hey, everyone,” Patrick smiled, watching his monitor and not Pete “how’s your Tuesday going?... I’m doing pretty well, thanks for asking. I’ve been working on stuff all morning but I think you guys will like it. I’m adding some stuff on Patreon for people more interested in just supporting the streams but not as interested in… well. I believe the plan is going to be an extra $10 tier where you’ll get the vlogs and store discount but instead of signed photos you’ll get added to a discord server where you guys can hang out. Yes, that’s a good point, if you’d like both the traditional $10 tier and the new one, there will be a $15 tier that’s the discord, photos, and vlogs. It should go live within the next few days, I’m just doing a bit more troubleshooting but you’ll have time to adjust your subscriptions before photos go out so don’t worry about that. Now that that’s sorted, I was planning to jump into Sea of Thieves and try and join up with some of you guys to mess around, how’s that sound?”

Patrick was wearing a white t-shirt with a black leather harness over it and pajama shorts that Pete was fairly certain were a women’s cut because he wasn’t sure that anyone made shorts that short in men’s (though that was a shame in Pete’s mind). “Sorry,” Patrick laughed and Pete realized he was looking at him instead of the webcam “you alright, Pete?”

Pete gave him a thumbs up before tearing his gaze away. Patrick chuckled and slid his headphones back on “he’s hanging out here for the evening, yeah,” Patrick said. “Pete? You want to come say hi to chat?”

Pete rolled his chair over to wave to the camera before kissing Patrick’s cheek and moving back off-screen. Patrick briefly reached over and rubbed Pete’s knee before returning his hand to his mouse “alright, let me get this started,”

Pete watched Patrick for a moment as he tapped the temple of his glasses against his lips absently before picking up the camera. Patrick gave him a coy glance briefly before adjusting his position in his chair, angling it to keep the arm of the chair from obscuring the shot before looking back to the screen “yes, the poll winner will be this month’s Patreon reward. Pete and I will be working on that over the next few days.”

Pete was glad that he was off-camera because he was sure he looked flustered with how Patrick was absently shifting in his chair, knees apart and hips back, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk to arch his back. Patrick subtly reached over to put the arm of his chair up so that he could face the camera as well as give Pete a different angle. Pete put the camera down once he was sure that he had enough photos, instead choosing to watch Patrick directly.

Patrick glanced at him “it’s really difficult to focus on this when you’re staring at me,”

“Can you blame me?” Pete asked, knowing that Patrick was good enough at his job to have not said anything if he didn’t want Pete interjecting “you’re hard not to stare at,”

“Uh-huh,” Patrick rolled his eyes before looking back at his chat “I’ll show my outfit when we get our next sub,”

The new subscriber notification sound played a second later. Patrick had this down to a science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave me a comment or reach out to me on Tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have anything to say! I love hearing from you!


	21. Chapter 21

“This is just about the opposite of pretending I’m not here,” Pete teased as Patrick straddled his hips on the bed.

“I swear to God, Pete, if you don’t-”

“Kidding, kidding,” Pete grinned before pulling Patrick down by one of the straps of his harness to kiss him “where’d this come from?”

Patrick smiled and shifted his hips, subtly shifting his legs farther apart “I was hoping you’d like it,”

“Are you kidding? Of course I like it, I’d like it better with nothing under it, though.”

Patrick sat back up and rolled his eyes, undoing the clasp around his neck to take it off and pull his t-shirt off “did you get enough photos?”

“Figure we should get a variety,” Pete said, rubbing Patrick’s hip “speaking of which,” he reached over and took the camera off the table beside them “put the harness back on,”

“This had better be worth it,” Patrick joked before reaching for the faux-leather straps again.

“I’m getting my money’s worth,” Pete teased, “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Patrick smiled before leaning down to kiss him. He clipped the straps behind his neck and back when he sat back up and rolled his shoulders back “how do you want me?”

“Any way I can get.”

Patrick rolled his eyes before leaning back slightly “you’re so annoying,”

“Uh huh,” Pete chuckled, holding the camera up and angling it so that the photo included everything from his jaw down - he selfishly wanted to keep the way Patrick was smiling at him to himself.

“You done yet?” Patrick sighed after a second, leaning his head back “this is boring,”

“What would you rather do?” Pete asked, putting the camera away.

“Watch bad reality tv and pretend I don’t have finals soon,”

“My thoughts exactly.”

  
  


Pete would have loved to stay longer the next day but he also knew that Patrick had to study for his finals. Being alone the next few days gave him time to, along with running his regular streams, do some initial research on apartments. Downtown Chicago was expensive and while his income was decent, it wasn’t enough to make this an easy process. He spent nearly an hour looking over finances and housing websites, trying to figure out what made the most sense, before his phone rang.

“Don’t tell me you’re trying to do this all on your own,” said Patrick’s voice as soon as Pete picked up.

Pete rubbed his eyes “trying to do what?”

“You’ve forwarded me…” he paused “ _ sixteen _ apartment websites in the past few hours. Babe,”

Pete sighed “just trying to get ahead of things,”

“You don’t have to, though, I love your dedication but - let’s take our time here so we don’t both lose it. In a week, I’ll be done with my finals and we can do it together.”

“I can’t believe you’re going to have an actual degree,”

“Assuming I pass,”

“You will.”

“If you say so. Seriously, baby, don’t work yourself to death on this, for all we know those spaces will be full by the time we can actually look at them.”

Patrick was probably right. Pete minimized the tabs he had been working on “I hear you, it’s just - I can’t just do nothing.”

“I know you can’t. I just also want to see you happy is all. What breed of dog do you want?”

Pete smiled “whatever you want,”

“How about you stop looking at apartments and figure out where the closest animal shelters are instead?”

“Alright. Good luck tomorrow,”

“Thanks. I’ll need it.”

“No you won’t. Goodnight, ‘Trick,”

“Night, babe,” Patrick laughed before hanging up. Hearing him laugh grounded Pete. He even took a break to eat dinner before going back to stressing himself out - that was progress.

After making a note on his phone about the four closest no-kill animal shelters to them, Pete made another quick google search of florists near him. Patrick had insisted that he didn’t want for his graduation to be a big thing, Pete couldn’t help himself. His family had only just convinced him that he should walk instead of just getting his degree mailed to him so Pete wasn’t going to push him to have a big celebration, but Pete wanted Patrick to at least know that he was proud of him. Patrick took graduation as a given, like it wasn’t an accomplishment in itself, but Pete hadn’t finished college, nor had most of the people he knew, so he’d be damned if he didn’t make sure Patrick knew he was proud of him. He figured that the least he could do would be buy him flowers and probably give a cheesy monologue on stream after posting a paragraph on instagram in the comments of the graduation photos that he’d make Patrick take. 

After probably too long scrolling through pages of reviews, social media posts, and photo galleries, Pete picked what he was certain was the best florist in the area. He certainly wouldn’t just be picking up the flowers put out by the checkout at grocery stores, he wanted to get something that wouldn’t just die after a week and something made specifically for Patrick. He filled out a form on the florist’s website with the size, note, pot, and flowers that he wanted and submitted it so that it would be ready in time for Patrick’s graduation. There was no question in Pete’s mind that Patrick would graduate. He somehow managed to handle academics and streaming so well on top of their relationship. Pete could have spent the rest of the night obsessing over how to make Patrick understand how proud he was of him but he also knew that Patrick would rather him get some sleep that night, so he set an alarm for 7am so that he would have time to text Patrick again before his exam started before going to bed.

He wouldn’t have believed a year ago that anyone would be getting him awake at 7am and getting him to go to bed before midnight, but yet at 7 he was jolted awake, cursing his alarm but still texting another good luck message to Patrick as soon as he turned the alarm off. He briefly thought about going back to bed after he hit send but the thought of Patrick replying and him not being awake to see it got him up. He was glad he did as his phone screen lit back up as he set it on the table to eat breakfast.

_ Patrick: thank you! Can I swing by after? _

Pete smiled as he picked his phone back up.

_ Of course. Love you. _

_ Patrick: Love you too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you have any feedback or thoughts about things, feel free to let me know in the comments or on Tumblr (lupinwritings), I love reading them. This is now the only fic I'm writing which is strange so I might be making a post on Tumblr about what you want to see me write next, but you'll only find out if you follow me lol. Anyway, thanks again for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

Pete watched Patrick pace through the living room, a notebook in one hand, his eyes fixed on the page, lips silently mouthing the words on the page. Pete felt like he was one of those people who chase tornadoes, helpless to stop what was happening around him but unable to tear his eyes away either. Occasionally, Patrick would pace a bit closer to the couch and Pete would reach for his hand, only to be shaken off. He couldn’t blame Patrick. He hadn’t gotten that far in college but he remembered exams - they were one of the main reasons he’d dropped out, and he figured they only got worse the closer to graduation you were. Patrick had one more exam and then he’d be done, though, and Pete planned on letting Patrick do whatever he needed to get done. He wouldn’t deny that he was secretly hoping that Patrick’s de-stressing would involve a bit more cuddling and sex.

“I can’t do this,” Patrick eventually breathed before moving Pete’s legs off the couch to sit down “I can’t fucking do this,”

Pete sat up and reached over to rub Patrick’s back, only to have his hand shoved away “Patrick, you’ll be-”

Patrick sighed and raised one hand to stop Pete “babe, I really need to focus right now,”

“Right,” Pete said in place of an apology before standing up. He grabbed a box of animal crackers off the counter before heading into the streaming room where he wouldn’t distract Patrick. He checked his watch, Patrick would be leaving in ten minutes or so. Patrick’s stress was rubbing off on him so he sat down on his streaming chair and closed his eyes, focusing on what came next for them. He opened his eyes when he heard the front door open and close, signaling that Patrick had left. He set an alarm on his phone, he had just over three hours to get ready for Patrick to come home.

  
  


It didn’t take him three hours to get ready but, with how easily he was distracted and how messy the apartment had gotten over the past few weeks, it wasn’t a fast process. He set the box of chocolates on the table along with an expensive bottle of white wine. He’d considered making reservations somewhere but a) there was a good chance Patrick would want to collapse once he got home, and Pete couldn’t blame him with how stressed he’d been and b) Patrick was set to plan their first date once this was over. He was at least going to make sure the apartment was clean, though, and that he would be paying for whatever takeout Patrick wanted. He was tucking the laundry hamper into the closet when he heard the door unlock.

“Hey,” he said, turning to Patrick “how’d it go?”

Patrick dropped his bag by the door and looked around “holy smokes, you’ve been busy,” he closed the door behind him “it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, I’m just glad it’s over.”

Pete walked over and took his hand, happy to not be brushed off this time, instead Patrick leaned into him, resting his chin on Pete’s shoulder. “I’m really proud of you,” he said as he wrapped his arms around Patrick’s waist.

“Don’t be proud yet,” Patrick smiled “I’ll let you know when the grades update,”

“Still,” Pete kissed Patrick’s hair “want to go sit down?”

Patrick stepped back before walking over to the table “this is really…. thank you,” he picked up the wine bottle “Jesus, how much did you even pay for this?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he laughed “it’s a special occasion,”

“Would you mind if we just laid down for a while? I’m so fucking tired,”

“Whatever you want, if you want to just sleep for a while that’s fine,”

Patrick nodded before taking Pete into the bedroom, collapsing down on the bed as soon as he kicked his shoes off. Pete wiggled closer and kissed Patrick’s cheek, making him wrinkle his nose in mock-annoyance. Patrick rolled onto his back and stretched out, eyes closed. “I’m sorry I’ve been a dick the past few days,”

“It’s fine, you were stressed,”

“Doesn’t justify it, thanks for not breaking up with me, though,”

Pete smiled and ran his fingers through Patrick’s hair “you’ll have to try harder for me to break up with you,”

Patrick yawned “still, any way I can make it up to you?”

Pete took a breath, trying not to let that simple statement go to his head “I’ve got a few ideas. In the morning, though,”

Patrick hummed and nodded “I love you,” he muttered sleepily.

“I love you too,”

Pete wasn’t surprised when Patrick fell asleep quickly. He hadn’t been sleeping nearly enough. They’d both canceled their streams for the day as well as tomorrow to give Patrick some time to recover and for Pete to enjoy having him back. While Pete didn’t fall asleep with Patrick, he was perfectly content watching Netflix while enjoying Patrick’s steady, shallow breathing beside him as well as the soft warmth coming off of him. After two episodes of the true-crime show he had settled for, Patrick shifted slightly, lifting his head briefly before kicking his jeans off then settling down again, his head on Pete’s chest. Pete’s arm would be numb soon with how Patrick had shifted partially on top of him but right now the risk of waking Patrick back up or taking away any of the comfort he was feeling was far too high. The way Patrick’s hand subconsciously grasped and ungrasped at Pete’s shirt made his entire body feel weak. He lost track of how many more episodes he got through before falling asleep as well but he woke up to the house and world outside dark and quiet. Patrick was still passed out beside him, arm now draped over Pete’s waist. He groped around blindly for his phone before realizing it had fallen onto the floor. He reached for it but knew he wouldn’t be able to reach it without moving Patrick, which was completely out of the question. He instead turned his head to watch Patrick - his eyelids fluttering as he dreamed and his torso slowly rising and falling. He had assumed it was around midnight when he’d woken up so he was surprised when he started to see the sky outside their window lightening. He went to pull the covers up around Patrick more with his arm that was under Patrick’s body but realized he couldn’t move it at all - that would feel awful once he finally moved, just one more reason to close his eyes again. He reopened them to the feeling of the world slowly coming back into focus as he woke up, then the realization that Patrick had sat up, then the feeling of excruciating pins and needles from his shoulder down. He sucked in a breath and grimaced, which caught Patrick’s attention. “You alright?”

Pete nodded and tried to curl his fingers, waiting for the blood to recirculate enough to give him mobility again “arm’s asleep,”

“Sorry,” Patrick chuckled and kissed him “didn’t mean to pass out so hard,”

Pete really wished he had two usable hands right now “me neither. How’re you feeling?”

Patrick stretched his arms above his head before cracking his neck “better now that I’m not running off just caffeine.”

Pete was pleased that he was able to awkwardly move his fingers by now, though it still felt like every nerve in his arm was short-circuiting “glad to hear it,”

Patrick ran a hand through his hair “anything you need to do today?”

Pete shook his head “nothing besides you,”

“Huh?” Patrick looked at him blankly for a second before rolling his eyes “fuck off, only if you don’t use lines like that,”

Pete chuckled “got it, you have to admit, that one was pretty decent,”

Patrick shook his head “not gonna happen,” despite that, he still snaked one hand under the waistband of Pete’s sweatpants. “I missed you,” he chuckled, watching Pete squeeze his eyes shut and gasp. Pete had missed him too.

  
  


Patrick was already getting up off his knees and wiping his chin when Pete found the strength to open his eyes again after a mindblowing orgasm, the kind that made his entire body go numb (even now that he had regained proper blood flow in his arm). “I should make you wait a week more often,” Patrick chuckled, padding into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Pete shook his head “no,” he said simply, not sure he could form a more complex thought than that right now.

Patrick suppressed a laugh before spitting toothpaste back into the sink “kind of fun seeing you with a ton of extra energy. Speaking of which, breakfast?”

Pete eventually forced himself to sit back up “not gonna come back and let me get you off too?”

Patrick shook his head “waiting until you’re up for round two,”

Pete rubbed his eyes “right, okay, whatever you want,”

Patrick laughed before tossing a clean pair of boxers to Pete “you’re so cute. I’m serious, though, what do you want for breakfast? You can’t survive off sex alone.”

Pete exhaled: he liked the sound of that, even if it wasn’t practical. “I’m probably just going to put a bagel in unless you’re going out,”

Patrick shook his head, now leaning against the doorframe “not today. I would love to get out of bed as little as possible today.”

“I think I can work with that,” Pete said, stretching before standing and getting dressed. It was a futile effort as not even 20 minutes later, both of their clothes were off again.

  
  


“Pete, don’t start looking at dogs until we have an apartment, you’ll just work yourself up,” Patrick observed, peering over Pete’s shoulder to see his phone screen.

“I’m just looking,” he teased, reaching up to grab Patrick’s hair playfully “how’re you feeling?”

“Like I’m going to be sore tomorrow,”

“Got any plans tomorrow?”

“Stream, that’s it,”

“I’m sure no one will mind if you’re a little broken,”

“Hey,” Patrick flopped back onto the bed beside where Pete was laying on his stomach “don’t damage the merchandise,”

“I won’t do anything that will show up on camera,”

“Thanks, dear, you’re so thoughtful,” Patrick rolled his eyes “I will be disappointed if I can walk tomorrow, though,”

“You’re spoiled, you know that?” Pete teased, running his hand up Patrick’s stomach to his chest then his throat, making Patrick’s eyes close contently “when did you decide that I’m just a meat stick?”

Patrick feigned a gag “ _ never _ use that term again, that’s so gross,”

Pete rolled onto his side “you didn’t answer the question,”

“I’m not justifying that with an answer. Reminds me of those salami sticks they have at gas station counters.”

“Those are good,”

Patrick glared at him briefly before laughing “I prefer yours,”

Pete kissed him quickly “shut up. When do you want to start looking at apartments?”

Patrick hummed “tomorrow. I need to check my stats for this month to figure out how much I’m bringing in. I have a feeling my family is going to give me a graduation gift, I’m really hoping it’s cash,” he paused “is that selfish?”

Pete frowned and shook his head, setting his phone down “not at all. You’re spoiled in bed but pretty rational in the other aspects of your life,”

“I don’t know whether that’s a compliment or not, also, I’m not spoiled in bed, you just have no self-control,”

Pete sat up “I do so,”

“Yeah? So if I said I wanted you to bend me over the bed right now, you’d say no?”

“Okay, well, just because - I don’t  _ always _ do whatever you ask,” he protested, already getting up and flipping Patrick onto his stomach.

Patrick laughed and turned his head to watch Pete “that’s what I thought,”

“Were you just doing this to make a point or do you actually want this?” Pete asked, realizing he’d lost this argument.

“Oh, well, I’m happy that I’ve proved my point, but the offer is still very much on the table,”

“Good. You’re still a brat, though,”

Patrick chuckled and closed his eyes “shut up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fluff and mild-smut heavy chapter, I hope that you guys liked it! I'm only writing one fic now so I'll probably start another one in not too long so look out for that! Remember to leave me a comment or reach out to me on Tumblr (lupinwritings) if you have any feedback, I love to hear your thoughts on my fics! Also remember that the last conversation happened entirely in jest and actually assuming that anyone wants to have sex all the time is very bad okay bye! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	23. Chapter 23

Pete was ashamed to say that he hadn’t met Patrick’s family until that morning - but he supposed Patrick hadn’t met his either. He should probably fix that. This wasn’t about him, though, Pete thought as he walked down the steps of the large auditorium. He’s spent a good few hours making sure his dress shirt and pants fit correctly and making sure there weren’t any stains or wrinkles then gelling his hair back and putting it into a bun in an attempt to look like someone Patrick’s parents would be happy to see him with. “Mr. and Mrs. Stumph?” He asked with what he hoped was a mix of friendliness and confidence, it was probably neither.

The two people in the row of seats ahead of him turned, along with a boy who looked startlingly similar to Patrick. The woman smiled and the man stood up and reached out his hand. “You must be Pete,” the man said before Pete shook his hand “it’s nice to finally meet you,”

“We’ve heard so much about you,” the woman - Liesel, he remembered, Liesel and Scott.

“Likewise,” he smiled “hope you don’t mind if I join you,”

“Not at all, dear,” she said, gesturing to the open chair beside them “we were hoping you would,”

Pete sat down beside them and glanced over when he heard Scott scoff softly “honestly, Ben, your brother is graduating, can you put your phone away?”

“He’s not graduating yet, dad,” the other boy, Patrick’s younger brother, complained before putting his phone back into his pocket.

“So Pete,” Liesel laughed softly before turning to him “you stream as well?”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat “yes, ma’am, that’s how Patrick and I met,”

“No need to be so formal, Pete, though you are much more of a gentleman than several of the people Patrick’s dated in the past,”

Pete laughed “I try my best,”

“I just can’t believe he’s graduating already… it feels like yesterday when he was applying for colleges and thinking he wouldn’t get into any of them,”

Pete smiled “that… sounds like him,”

“Funny thing was,” Scott leaned forward to add “he got into his top school with a full ride. Did you go to college, Pete?”

“For a while. I didn’t finish because it was too much with streaming,” he knew that wasn’t the answer most parents wanted to hear.

“Oh?” Liesel asked, “what did you study?”

“Law,” he replied.

“Smart man,” Scott laughed and Pete expected a comment about how he should have stayed in that field but instead he followed it up with a comment about how lawyers always end up miserable. Pete couldn’t deny that. He really hadn’t enjoyed what he’d been doing. Except for the poetry classes - but that was a bit too personal to share with people he’d only just met. “Ben’s just started college, studying music too,”

“Talented family,” Pete chuckled.

“I can speak for myself, dad,” Ben mumbled but before it could continue, music started to play over the speakers and the lights shifted to focus on the center floor where a sea of green caps and robes had lined up to walk across the stage and collect their degrees. The ceremony was several hours, which was a very long time to be waiting to hear Patrick’s name. It was definitely worth it, though, because afterward, Patrick practically jumped into his arms. Pete grinned into his neck and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered.

“Shut up,” Patrick rolled his eyes before turning his head to kiss him “no making this a big deal,”

Pete reluctantly let go of him “we’ll finish this later. Go see your family, asshole,”

Patrick laughed and squeezed his hand quickly before walking over to his parents and brother, who were waiting not far away. Pete smiled, just happy to have Patrick in his life. In a while, he would force Patrick to take graduation photos “for social media,” except they were definitely for Pete to frame and put up, but for now he wouldn’t pester Patrick. For once, he wanted Patrick to have no one else to impress. He’d done enough of that. Pete socialized for a while before Patrick hugged his parents and exhaled deeply “I hate to do this,” he said, leaning back against Pete, who adjusted his stance to hold Patrick’s weight “but would you mind if I went home for a while to get changed?”

“Not at all,” Liesel said, putting one hand on his forehead to check his temperature “are you feeling okay?”

Patrick laughed softly “I’m fine, mom, just tired. Pete? You ready to go?”

“Whenever you are,” Pete replied before shifting his gaze to Patrick’s family “it was really nice to meet you,”

“You too, Pete. Hopefully, we’ll see more of you in the future,”

“I’m sure you will, mom,” Patrick laughed before tugging Pete’s hand “my place is closer, are you coming with me?”

“Sure,” Pete said, but he meant definitely, before waving to Patrick’s family then following Patrick out of the crowd and to the sidewalk. As they walked, Patrick undid his graduation robe and took off his cap to reveal corduroy pants and a black button-down shirt under it. “Thank you for coming,”

“Seriously? I wouldn’t miss it.” Pete chuckled, slipping one hand into Patrick’s back pocket.

“Still,” Patrick leaned against his side for a moment as they walked “I love you,”

“I love you too, Patrick. I’ve got a surprise for you,”

Patrick glanced at him and smiled “oh really? I have one for you too.”

“Patrick, you don’t give  _ other people _ gifts for  _ your _ graduation, you know that, right?”

Patrick smiled “I think you’ll make an exception this time.”

Pete took Patrick’s hand and chuckled “you’re something else. Still up to go look at apartments this weekend?”

Patrick nodded “yes. I’m excited. Such a pain going back and forth.”

“And then we go look at dogs?”

Patrick laughed “well, I actually wanted to talk to you about that.”

“What about?”

“I’ll show you when we get home.”

Pete huffed in mock-annoyance, trying not to smile “you’re a real tease sometimes, you know that?”

“I’ve been told that before, actually,”

“Bet you have. Your surprise is at my apartment, though, so I’ll have to go over there to get it at some point.”

Patrick smiled and shook his head “yeah, we definitely need that apartment.”

  
  


It didn’t take as much deliberation as Pete had expected for them to decide on an apartment. As soon as they’d walked in, it had just felt… right. A large windowed wall overlooked the city and Lake Michigan in the distance, a big living room and bedroom, and a fully furnished kitchen. An office and guest bedroom would be perfect for streaming and the complex prided itself on its fast internet connection. In the courtyard as a big dog park as it was pet friendly with no breed or weight restrictions. As they’d been shown around, they’d shared a quick glance and a smile: this was the one. They were able to move in at the end of the week which meant that it was going to be a pretty short time to pack up and move everything but with Patrick done with school, they made it work. 

Pete was glad that Patrick had enjoyed the flowers he’d bought him, but he had to admit that Patrick’s surprise was far superior. The day after they’d moved in, Patrick had taken him to an animal shelter where, once they walked in, a large white husky was already waiting for them. Patrick had wanted to make sure the decision was Pete’s as well so he hadn’t done any more than asking to see the dog which he’d seen on their website, but it only took a few minutes of the dog jumping up to lick their faces and chasing its tail for them both to decide that was the one. Bowie very quickly became a stream-favourite for his frequent cameos, usually when he howled at the door until they were forced to let him in so he could try and climb onto someone’s lap. Once things had settled a bit and Pete’s parents had agreed to look after Bowie for a week, they celebrated their one-year anniversary in London. That became a tradition in the upcoming years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, that's the end! I hope you liked it! I had so much fun writing it! I didn't expect this to be one of my longest fics but it was just so much fun to work on! This was the fic I've gotten the most support and feedback for so THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! It contributed a lot to me wanting to keep this going as long as I did. Don't worry, though! I have another peterick fic in the works so check back in a week or so for the first chapter of that! Spoiler: it's a country au.
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH for reading and please leave me a comment if you have any thoughts about this fic even now that it's over, even if you're reading this a while after I've posted this, I'll still check them. My Tumblr is lupinwirings so either follow me there or my profile on ao3 if you want to get notified when I post my next fic! Thanks again for reading! Bye!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like the first chapter! If you haven't followed one of my fics before, I post every Friday so make sure to subscribe so you can follow along! Leave me some comments and kudos so I can know what you think of things so far! I can't wait to get into this fic, it's going to be a good one!  
> Also, in case anyone is curious, it is probably going to be closer to the length of Lakeside State of Mind rather than Do Not Send Flowers so buckle in, it's going to be a very long and very fun ride.  
> I don't stream myself but watch a lot of streams so I'm sorry if I get anything wrong on that end of things, feel free to let me know if I do, so long as you're polite.  
> Thottrick becomes more apparent in later chapters, don't worry ;)


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